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50 Reasons Not to Date a Photographer

>> Thursday, December 01, 2011

I saw this on Tumblr and I found it hilarious. I could relate to some of the points on it. Do they apply to you as well?

1. They rather hold their bulky camera, than hold hands with you. (Wouldn't it be more romantic if they'd hold the bulky camera in one hand and your hand in the other? Cheeseeee.)
2. On a romantic date, you’ll watch the sun go down and think “Wow this is gorgeous” and they’ll go “mirror lock, tripod, and stop down f/8 at 1/125.” (Oh god, every time I see a sunset or a splash of colors in the sky, I always analyze what settings I'll use.)
3. You’ll never be able to enjoy tv, movies, or magazines because they’ll point out all the visual flaws. (I don't do this. The Badong student in me takes over instead.)
4. They like to sit in obscure coffee shop and voyeuristically watch people for great lengths of time.
5. If you’re taking a walk outside and you come across some “interesting light” they will make you sit/stand/pose in public so that they can take a photo. (EL-OH-EL.)
6. You’ll never get to enjoy freshly cooked meals because they’ll spend 15 minutes taking 20 variations of the same dish with their iPhone. (You're safe with me, I don't own an iPhone. Too bad for you if I have my camera with me though.)
7. They get angry when your friends go up to them and say “I am interested in photography, can you recommend a good camera for me? Nothing professional I just want to take pretty pictures.” (Oh just get a point and shoot, gddarnit. You can still take pretty pictures with any camera. And oh, it's photos not pictures. /snob)
8. You’ll wait longer for them to finish analyzing art in a museum than you’ll wait at the dmv
9. Same goes with old used bookstores.
10. When you think they’re giving you their undivided attention, they’re really wondering how they could fix you with a little Clone Tool and Patch Tool. (hah. I don't edit people's faces. I want them as natural as possible.)
11. Or they are actually using you to not look so creepy as they people watch everything going on around you. (Stalkerrrr. Hey, that ain't me.)
12. They rather drop $1,000+ on new glass than a purse for you.
13. You can’t take a photo with them without taking at least five more. (Me. So much. But when I get that one shot, I'm all good already.)
14. If you ask them if you look fat, they’ll say “don’t worry I can photoshop you later.” (or ask you to shift poses to get the best angle. That's better, right?)
15. They’ll never photoshop something simple for you if the content is not up to their “standards.”
16. That photo they randomly took of you yesterday? Good luck getting them to send it to you. (ehe. I still have tons to send to friends.)
17. They spend all their time on the computer (and not for porn.) (sift, choose, sort, a folder for edited photos, edit and tag photos, a folder for resized photos before posting them online. hah.)
18. They can’t have a normal conversation with throwing acronyms and random numbers.
19. They still use film cameras. (Yes!)
20. They spend a lot of time with people cooler than you i.e. models, actors, musicians, successful rich people. (of course not, all of you are cool!)
21. They’ll be fussy over the position of a common household object, like a coffee cup. (gotta get a good position!)
22. They won’t return your calls or text messages, but you can bet they’re still posting pics on Instagram. (Again, no iPhone for me.)
23. They like watching old films that you’ve never heard or will ever understand. (Not the shutterbug in me talking, but the Badong student.)
24. They like looking at weird things in general.
25. Instead of having penis-envy, they have camera-gear-envy. (I want that lens. I want that camera. I want that tripod. I want that camera bag. I want that accessories. I want, I want, I want.)
26. If there’s a natural disaster in a far away land, they’re already on a plane going over there.
27. Everything is watermarked. (Fishy siggy!)
28. They think everyone else’s photos suck. (of course not.)
29. They want to color correct a lot of scenes from Twilight and Jersey Shore. (HAHAHAHA. Haven't tried this yet.)
30. They hate rainbows, especially ones spinning in a circle. (Heeey I like those!)
31. Whenever you’re in a group talking and the conversation goes deep, they’re taking notes in some form of Moleskine.
32. They use over priced Moleskine notebooks. (dooorootdoooo. But those are for my doodles.)
33. They like trespassing into old abandoned buildings filled with health hazards. (They make good photographs, I swear.)
34. They always want to show a new photo they took, but don’t really care if you like it or not. (That's what this blog is for!)
35. They hate your n00bie friend’s new artsy profile picture.
36. Bright, sunny days make them sad, but cloudy, overcast days are apparently great! (But, but, but I like natural light!)
37. They’ll take you into places that have “culture” as well a high chance of getting mugged. (Hello, Quiapo?)
38. Your birthday present will be a portrait that they’ve taken of you. (Gave a set to my parents for their anniversary. heh.)
39. You can’t go anywhere new without them stopping to take a photo of everything and anything.
40. They will always bug you to be a test subject.
41. Nothing can ever be naturally pretty, everything must be fixed in Photoshop. (The only thing I edit in Photoshop is the lighting.)
42. Bringing their camera means, bringing 50lbs of equipment. (Oh just my camera and a zoom lens. Wait for me to get rich, I'll get to that 50lbs. But then photography blogs encourages shutterbugs to bring only one lens when walking around.)
43. If you break any of their things on accident, you’ll owe them thousands of dollars. (My regular threat when my cousins borrow my camera.)
44. You can’t get them a birthday/Christmas present without spending at least $500 (Hey, I can be appreciative over cheap gifts. :P )
45. They are natural hoarders, collecting and keeping piles of old newspapers, packaging, magazines, and other things that “inspire” them. (Mom calls them trash. haha)
46. They are weird and geeky.
47. They have hard drives of photos, but probably have printed 10 images. (That's why I like film cameras, you gotta have them printed.)
48. They are always secretly judging your creativity. (*shifty eyes*)
49. If you’re ever in auto mode, they laugh at you. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAH AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. NAG-DLSR KA PA.)
50. They orgasm every time they learn a new lighting technique. (Me.)



Tara 4:33 AM  
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
spialelo 3:27 AM  

Lol! Numbers 17, 47, & 50 are so me. I love this list.

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