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>> Tuesday, January 25, 2005

did'ya guys miss me???


i don't have any realizations to say, nor any stories to tell. i just feel like writing something that i don't even know what that topic would be.

i feel that i'm abandoning the site that started my online journals that's why i'm here again.

but i promise that i'll be back with my reflective self after this hell semester is over. konting tiis nalang, only two months, then this will all be in the past. of course i have to do good until march, so pay now, play later. hehe. whatever.

how many days have passed since my last post?



giving meaning to things

>> Monday, January 10, 2005

chino asked his friend to interpret my dream. kapani-paniwala yung explanation niya. i can take it into consideration. but i can't put it here, it's personal. and i don't want to be the one to tell it.

his friend also read my animal. my animal was based on what year i was born. it's 100% accurate. if you know what happened during my guidance counselling, you'll understand the reading. here it goes:

Your tiger is in a deep forest. It's been searching its way out. Its
finally almost out because it can see a clearing, which is a good
thing. But there are strings attached to the back of the tiger's 2
legs. Like it's carrying something, and it has to get rid of it. To
the tiger, it is actually a burden. The only way that the tiger can
let go of this burden is when it learns what it is that's slowing it
down. The forest that the tiger found itself in is dark, and the tiger doesn't want it that way. It also needs to resolve its issues with the forest before it can make it out into the clearing. The tiger's almost there, it just needs a little more effort.



huh?!?!?! ano raw?

>> Friday, January 07, 2005

i need an explanation for this.

last night i had the weirdest dream ever. i usually don't remember dreams, but this one haunts me.

it was one day that i came from the convenarium at crossroad 77. i went up the main staircase of the building to the lobby. jm was standing at the top step, holding all of my piano books in one arm. when i reached the lobby, he handed me all of my piano books and told me which pieces i had to study for my recital. my mom came and joined the conversation. we sat down on the floor, in the middle of the lobby, in broad daylight. then, jm placed his hand on my arm. when he took away his hand, my arm had a big wound the shape of his hand. blood was rushing out of the wound like a waterfall. but when the blood was about to reach the floor, it vanished. i looked at jm's hand, there was no trace of blood on it. i did not feel any pain from the wound. then i woke up.


now explain.


isang araw nalang

>> Tuesday, January 04, 2005

isang araw nalang at papasok na ako bukas. ngayon ko lang naramdaman na hindi ko namimiss ang school. shempre, namimiss ko ang mga taga block e. pero pag iniisip ko ang mga kelangang isubmit ang mga gurong makikita ko, parang ayoko matapos itong araw na to.

buti nalang natapos ko na ang papel ko kay badong at kay lanot. pwede na akong mamatay. hehehe.

ay may ubo parin ako. tatlong kutsarita pa ng loviscol!


tama na yan, inuman na!!

>> Sunday, January 02, 2005

people say that there wine is good for the heart.

there were 3 kinds of wine present during our new year's party at my grandmother's house. the pure red wine, the sweetened red wine from novelino's, and a strawberry-flavored wine. i took a sip from each, just for the experience. i don't drink alcoholic stuff so i'm not familiar with how they taste. the first sip i got was from pure red wine. it was bitter and i felt each molecule of the wine slither down my throat. even if there was ice to lessen the bitterness, i still coughed it out. the second sip was sweetened, a different brand of red wine. it was still bitter, but less of it. i couldn't understand how my cousin was able to drink a whole glass of red wine when one sip was enough to make me be loyal to water forever. the third sip i got was the strawberry-flavored wine. it tasted like carbonated strawberry juice. it was sweet yet i just took a sip. i knew my mom would not approve of me drinking anything alcoholic (even if it was wine or champagne or martini) so i only took the "legal" requirement: one sip just for tasting.

minutes before the start of a new year (2005 na!!), chino texted me to not forget to drink. i asked him if wine counted and he replied by saying "as long as i was drinking to the new year, all kinds of drinks were accepted". i thought about it and realized that drinking wine was the best symbol to describe my december 31 exprience.

the last day of 2004 was the most bitter new year's eve i have ever been. when all of my titos and titas were in the dining area murdering the lechon (poor pig, hehe), i was alone in my grandmother's room, watching tv because i had the flu. i had to stay indoors because i might inhale the smoke coming from the firecrackers and fireworks and the only room that was safe from it was my grandmother's room. i ate my dinner there. the television inside the room had no cable, so i contented myself with the poor signal and the blurry screen. good thing my cousin came with a portable vcd and we watched "the mexican". she stayed with me until the clock struck 12. she did not want to go outside and start the lighting of the fireworks, she was scared that she might inhale the fumes and get asthma. bitter new year, huh? we were two sick teenagers sitting in a room while everyone was outside screaming "happy new year!!!" while lighting sparklers.

but of course, there has to be something good to it. i don't know if i had to thank the wine for it, but i felt better by 1230 am. i went down to catch up with the fun and games. my cousins and i won the charades against the "oldies", i hoarded a lot of money from the "paagaw", and joked around when the kids played trip to jerusalem (no body was a loser, they all got a prize). funny as it seems, i enjoyed my new year's eve because i was wearing a new shirt my mom bought for me.

new year. and i'm still having more realizations than resolutions. all because of wine.


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