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alone in a crossroad, waiting for a miracle.

>> Tuesday, October 26, 2004

so i'm all alone. finally. but not at home. aha... hehehe...

we left at 6 am in the morning to catch the 7 am deadline of the mmda. our car is banned from the street because of the number coding scheme. we were supposed to meet my tito in wendy's taft and accompany him to the hospital for his check-up. we parked our car at crossroad (our church building) and took the fx going to taft. so imagine us sitting in wendy's for 2 hours. but then, my dad's boss from crossroad called him and told him that there was an emergency meeting today at 10 am. i was given the option. to stay with my mom or go back to crossroad with my dad. i chose to go back to crossroad since i had something else to do.

when we arrived, the b-room was still closed so i stayed in the library. i took all the children's books from the shelf and started to read. i took down lines from the book for example's sake when i get to write in the future. i filled 2 pages of yellow pad (back to back) of excerpts and poems.

at the stroke of 12, i went up to the second floor to check if the b-room is already open. and it was. now, here i am, sitting on a stool, talking to chino, wil, and eloisa. the fee for using the internet here is expensive (1 peso per minute.. sheesh) but at least the internet here is soooopppeeerrr fast. lightning fast. compared to my pagong internet at home. hehehe. i'm willing to spend 60 pesos for this experience. hahaha. no worries, i have money in my wallet.

woah. i have 18 messages in my mail. all from the block. the yahoogroups is alive!


i got this from april's photo gallery. this was during her debut last april. bihira nyo lang makikita si yumi na naka strapless. hahaha..


DOWN... DOWn... DOwn... Down... down...

>> Monday, October 25, 2004

this is the fun-nest semester i have gone through. i've got the lowest grades in town. i'm going crazy if i don't let it out. bear with me and my grades, because that's the way it is.

let's start with the bad news.

philo 101. i got a D. looking at the brighter side of life, i didn't get an F. but i was expecting at least a C. i couldn't explain how i got this kind of grade, but i somehow understand my D. ow well, he's still my teacher next semester. and i promise myself (for the nth and final time) that i will really understand my philosophy.

history 165. a C. i flunked two tests, i don't know what i got for the second exam and my finals. my papers are on the B level and our report got a C+. how did i get a c? check my tests again. my expectation is a C+. ow well, that's life.

theo 131. C+. i hate my teacher. (can't drop names. i might get sued for giving names. hehe). my pre-final grade was a B and because of that freaking finals, my grade dropped to a C+. i saw sir in dela costa and asked him how i got a c+. and his answer was, "at least it's better than a C" sheesh. nice answer.

and now for the good news. the good grades.

fa 112.4 non fiction workshop. a B. a B?!? no way. how did she grade out paper? she didn't even give grades for our drafts, and now she's giving me a B for that? edlyn and i were expecting at least a B+ for all the work we've done... and now a B+? i'm sending her an email tonight.

fa 113.3 poetry workshop. a B+. now that's what i call proud. i'm not a poet, but i can say i worked hard for my poems. i did extra work and submitted poems just to keep my grades up. well, i had to be really good like geopet or anna or the really "madaya" heights coordinator (who still took a poetry class) larry to get an A. no prob with my grade.

with that report card, my qpi's going down, down, down... i just hope that next semester, i'll be able to be a dean's lister (with all those majors i'm having) and raise my yearly qpi. sheesh.

after getting my grades, the gang (edlyn, jace, jihan, jay, and me) went to kfc to push all the bad grades down our throat with chicken. we forgot our misfortunes for a short moment while talking about tv shows. lunch passed by, and we separated ways. jihan, jace, and jay went to sm while i gate-crashed edlyn's house. hahaha.. i was the FIRST one to get a bite of edlyn's famous brownies. i even took home 2 slices for mom (she wanted to taste the brownies that i always bragged whenever i went to edlyn's house). we played tong-its while watching a spanish soap opera on tv, while checking friendster accounts, and while contemplating on our grades (quietly).





thank God for brownies.


have you doubted God?

>> Saturday, October 23, 2004

i got this from my bulletin board in friendster.. i just want to share this with you. read on...


A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good

They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer. "Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there
be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving a God who would allow all of these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkept.

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed
beards, like that man outside.

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! " answered the barber. " What happens, is,people do not come to me. "

"Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."


aha! good point...



>> Friday, October 22, 2004

yesterday, i went along with my tita and my 3 cousins to fetch my tito from the airport. tito fred came from saudi for his annual visit and also to celebrate grandma's 1st death anniversary. in the van going to the airport, i was the only teenager there so in conclusion, my 3 cousins were kids. jp is in grade 4, iyah in grade 1, and daniella in kinder 2 (which reminds me, i didn't go to kinder 2. just kinder. hehe...). anyway, mama was reviewing iyah because iyah told us that it was her test the next day (which is today). mama was giving her words and iyah was spelling them out.

mama: spell occupy.
iyah: o-c-c-u-p-y. mali si teacher, tignan mo (points to her notebook) mali yung sulat ko, tapos chinekan nya.
mama: oh at least tama ka diba? sabihin mo kay teacher mali siya.

then daniella butts in...

daniella: ano tawag sa baby kangaroo?
iyah: joey. eh, matagal na namin yan inaral eh. sige nga, spell mo nga yung crunching.
daniella: (not minding iyah) eh ang baby frog?
iyah: c-r-u-n-c-h-i-n-g ohhh.. tama diba tita a? (they called mama tita a. short for alice. haha)
mama: oh very good. eh ang sizzling?
daniella: eh 5+6?
iyah: s-i-z-z-l-i-n-g. eh madali lang yan eh. spell mo nga yung sizzling?

they went on and on and on... they never answered the questions they were giving each other. meanwhile, jp was singing a song (obviously, i don't know the lyrics except for one line... haha). the car was some disco bar. it was noisy. my tita was at the same time giving directions to the driver to where we will enter. my dad was telling me to read the signs because "i had clear vision".

so by the time we reached the airport, the kids were thirsty and hungry. good thing there were stalls at the waiting area and we were able to get a snack of softdrinks, juice (for iyah and daniella), and doughnuts. after our snack, we played tag in the parking lot. i missed running around like a kid. but i had to watch myself from tripping because i was in a skirt (arte! mwahahaha. pa skirt-skirt pa kasi!). but i had fun. i wished i was a kid again. no worries except for spelling and memorizing the letters of the keyboard.

i'm going to see them again... off to duty free! cheetos, here i come!!!!!!!!!!!!

a song to boost my day...

josh groban

wash away the thoughts inside
that keep my mind away from you
no more love and no more pride
and thoughts are all i have to do

remember when it rained
i felt the ground and looked up high and called your name
remember when it rained
in the darkness i remain

tears of hope run down my skin
tears for you that will not dry
they magnify the one within
and let the outside slowly die

remember when it rained
i felt the ground and looked up high and called your name
remember when ir rained
in the water i remain

rundding down.....


some play

>> Wednesday, October 20, 2004

i started writing this last monday. i got to finish it this morning. it's nothing, and it's loads of crap. anyway, it's still subject to revising. and i mean a lot of revising. it's my first draft. so bear with it. besides, i don't have any entry for today, not worth telling.


patrick - a child, he's 6 years old, in jumpers and red cap. has a clear backpack slung on his shoulder. you can see many things, a coloring book, a box of crayons, toys, a shirt, and other stuff.
marla - mother of patrick, young, possibly in her early 20's, fashionable
eric - a handsome man, in late 20's, dressed in a blue polo, black slacks, has a good posture
store owner

[lights on. the stage shows a mall, and people are rushing here and there. a bench is on one side of the stage. a toystore with a shelf-full of toys is on the other end of the stage. patrick and his mother enter. patrick pulls on marla's hand as they walk. marla is on the phone talking to her co-worker at work.]

marla: yes, eric. i called mr. johnson about the stocks. [a beat] no, i left it on the table. i even made a note- [a beat] uh-huh. i got here here, wait a minute.

[marla and patrick stop walking and marla rummages in her bag. patrick looks at her impatiently. he instead looks around to amuse himself.]

marla: the number is- [a beat] yes, how many times do i have to tell you that? here it is. its 4453-2385-235. ok got it? [2 beats] what?! he wants me in now? come on eric, you know i can't. i promised patrick that i would spend a day with him at the mall.

[patrick looks at marla as he hears his name. he tugs again at his mother's hand.]

marla: if you were in my position, you would know the feeling. no, you tell him that. [sighs in frustration then turns to patrick] honey, would you care to sit down for a minute on that bench? mommy needs to talk to annoying eric [emphasis on annoying then laughs] haha... because, when i was supposed to have fun with my kid, you start ringing my phone.

[patrick sits on the bench behind him. he takes out his coloring book and crayons and starts to color. once in a while, he looks up from his coloring book and stares at his mother. after a beat, he resumes his coloring.]

marla [continues to talk]: ok here's the deal. tell mr. johnson that we'll settle everything. you come over here at the mall. we'll talk it over, while i take patrick to the toystore. [a beat] but i can't. if you're here, i can talk business with you then patrick will have his fun at the toystore. be here in a jiffy. [a beat] go ahead and joke around, the office is just blocks away from here. [a beat] beat it, there's no traffic. bye.

[marla hangs up, turns around and sits beside patrick]

marla: what do you want honey? there's the toystore there, you can pick anything. sky's the limit. and when you're picking your toy, eric will come over and we can talk about work.

patrick: i want a bike, mommy. not the baby bike with three wheels. a big bike, mommy. the one with two wheels.

marla: but you have to promise me that you'll be careful with your bike. don't run off the road without your helmet on. you wear knee pads and elbow pads, ok? and don't cross intersections with that thing.

patrick: [his eyes look happy just talking to her mother. he snuggles closer to his mother.] yes mommy, i'll be good. i want a bike. a blue one.

marla: oh. sure honey, anything you like. oh, there's eric. [marla stands up quickly to meet eric.]

eric: ha! how fast was that? what a great deal of traffic!

marla: yeah, yeah. come on patrick, let's go to the toystore.

eric: don't tell me, we'll talk about the project in [stress on in] the toystore? aren't we going to talk somewhere else? like a coffee shop?

marla: well, i can't leave patrick there alone. i need to know where he is. come patrick.

[patrick stuffs his things in his bag hurredly and holds his mothers hand. he smiles as he does so. they enter the toystore, a few steps away from the bench. as they enter, patrick runs toward the shelves, overwhelmed by the toys. he is still holding marla's hand.]

marla: honey, you can let go now. i'll just be here with eric. you pick your toy, then when you've chosen one, we'll pay for it.

patrick: mommy, will you ride it with me when we go home?

marla: oh, honey, i'm afraid not. i'll drop you in granny's house after this. mommy has to go back to the office.

patrick: oh, owkay. [patrick turns around slowly and walks towards the toys]

[marla and eric sit down on the bench inside the toystore]

marla: so, where were we? did mr. johnson get the account number?

eric: yeah, and he asked me to give you this. [eric hands a folder full of paper]

marla: [eyes widen] for me to file?

eric: [nods while speaking] for you to file and take note of it. here are the instructions. you take note of the account number, find it in the database you made last month, check if the companies have updated their billing statements with mr. johnson, then call those who have problems with their accounts. got it? [he slowly places his arm over marla]

marla: you're kidding.

eric: no i'm not.

marla: but there's over a hundred companies here!

eric: i know.

[marla groans]

eric: i can help.

marla: oh stop it. if patrick sees this...

eric: no he will not.

[a crash is heard, and marla mouths "patrick" while she rushes to the sound. she sees patrick riding a blue bike, facing a heap of boxes and scattered toys.]

marla: patrick?!?!

[the store owner comes in and sees the mess. he looks at patrick and at marla. he opens his mouth to speak]

marla: oh my god. i'm really sorry mister. my kid was excited about- oh my god. i'm really sorry. patrick? what did you do? [places her hands on patrick's shoulders. patrick stares blankly at eric and marla. a very long beat, then patrick cries]

patrick: mommy, i'm sorry. i'm sorry mommy. i just wanted you to see i can ride a big bike mommy. i just wanted you to see. i'm sorry mommy.

[a beat]

store owner: [looks at the tear-smeared face of patrick] well, it's nothing, miss. nothing's broken.

marla: [not noticing the store owner] oh honey, [hugs patrick] you can get the bike.

patrick: i wanted you to see mommy.. i'm big now. i didn't mean to-

eric: marla, the-

marla: ok. we'll both go to grandma.

patrick: but mommy-

marla: shhh... we'll both ride your bike.


go ahead and comment. it's just to crappy. hehehe...


a song and quizzes

>> Tuesday, October 19, 2004

"kiss me kate"

strange dear
but true, dear
when i'm close
to you dear
the stars
fill the sky
so in love
with you
am i
even without you
my arms fold
about you
you know
darling why
so in love
with you am i
in love
with the night
the night
when you first
were there
in love with my joy
when i knew
that you could care
so taunt me
and hurt me
de deceive me
desert me
i'm yours
'till i die
so in love
so in love
so in love
with you, my love
am i


I am 12% evil.

I try to stay away from evil deeds but succumb to temptation every once in a while. I'm not quite on my way to hell but I certainly have some explaining to do.

Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com


new book and a scream

first of all, i got a C in my philo orals. sheesh.

back to my real story. yesterday, we were off to the movies to watch ladder 49. i won't get into the story because i know i start it but never finish it. it was a "hot" movie.. hot meaning it was full of fires and firefighter stuff. of course, it was about a fire fighter's life. hehe...

after the movie, we headed to sm fairview (we watch movies in robinson's nova because... because.) to buy groceries. as a 'tawid-freak' i am, i just crossed the street from the parking lot. my mom, did the freakiest thing on earth. she shouted. man. and the devil inside me did the unthinkable thing, i continued to cross. hello, if i would stop in the middle of the street, then i would really be run over by the cars and stuff. so i just crossed the street. that's it. bad yumi. hahahaha... and i smirked when i successfully reached the other side. i dunno, i just felt rebellious last night.

i had a thousand in my wallet and i headed to national book store. i bought the 4th book in the chronicles of narnia and a book by jostein gaarder. "the christmas mystery". and it was the first time i read a book in one sitting because it was so suspense even though it was written in simple language. and the setting was always in the morning.

ok enough of this. no flow. aahh... bahala na. shoot.



>> Monday, October 18, 2004

i was the first to wake up this morning. but as i stood up and walked towards my study table, i saw mom jolt out of her bed just because i made some noise. can't i wake up and have at least 2 hours alone? sheesh. every move i make in this house is noticed.

i said my prayers, went straight to my computer and went online. the internet connection's fast during mornings and early afternoons. so i grabbed the opportunity now, because we will go out to watch ladder 49 later. and i will still play the piano.

so while i was waiting to be connected to the internet, i took out my msa college entrance test reviewer and started to browse through the pages. it wasn't really my intent to answer them, i just needed something to read while waiting. mom comes near and tells me, you should try answering those questions, para gumana naman utak mo. hello, that's why i'm having my semestral break. so that i won't study. and besides, i will have to go through my math notebooks to be able to answer the questions. fish. she rants again and says, sana pinagsampay na muna kita bago mag friendster. sheesh. her tone sounded like some guilt trip or something, i was just checking my friendster for new testimonials or whatever. and friendster is not the only site i'm visiting. man. what a day.

i hate it when mothers nag their children. then, when we teenagers try to explain things, they will go to their next stage... guilt trip. sige, bahala ka. ako na nga lang. oh come on! it's either i give in or stick to my teenager self and do something else so that i won't look lazy.

that's yumi's other self when she's at home? think i'm an angel? guess again.


after being a little devil in blogspot, i'm going to post my devotional for the day. ironic spot.

taken from www.insight.org

[We sent Timothy] so that no one would be disturbed by these afflictions; for you yourselves know that we have been destined for this. For indeed when we were with you, we kept telling you in advance that we were going to suffer affliction; and so it came to pass, as you know. (1 Thess. 3:3-4)
While suffering hard times, we can easily be disturbed by questions that shake us to the core. “Doesn't God care about me anymore? Didn't He promise to help me? How can a good God let this happen?” We begin to question God’s love for us and wonder if we’ve believed wrongly all our lives. This is exactly why Paul sent Timothy ( to the Thessalonians): to strengthen and encourage the believers so that doubts wouldn’t collapse their faith in the midst of affliction.

To further protect his readers, Paul reminds them and us about two facts: first, “you yourselves know that we have been destined for this” (v. 3b). Just as Christ was destined for the Cross, so we also have our own crosses to bear. They are a part of God’s training program for our lives.

Second, Paul writes, “We kept telling you in advance that we were going to suffer affliction” (v. 4a). Knowing ahead of time that persecution and affliction are on their way helps us prepare ourselves, just as soldiers forewarned of an enemy attack can better defend themselves.

On the other hand, if we refuse to believe the warnings and assume that trusting Christ will solve all our earthly problems, we’re setting ourselves up for a Pearl Harbor-type raid. Such an attack will not only shock us, it can devastate us as well.


being a little productive today...

>> Saturday, October 16, 2004

that's the glory of sembreak. i was able to do all the things i wanted to do during the course of the semester (but couldn't do because of the readings i had to study). i was able to fix my bulletin board. i made it into a real universe theme, not like the one i made last summer. i stuck a black cartolina for the universe, then arranged the planets in the right order. before, i just stuck them wherever there had space, so venus was near pluto, and earth was side by side with neptune. this time, they were in their right places. mercury, venus, earth, mars, jupiter, saturn, neptune, uranus, and pluto. i also realized that i forgot to draw mercury in my last bulletin board. heh. it's more organized now, because i threw some of the quotes because they were too many. i kept those which really strikes me whenever i read them...

"the person who says he has never told a lie has just told one." -anonymous
"why was i born of a race that thinks only of rice and hates entrepreneurs?" -engineer, miss saigon
"when i get on my knees, God helps me to stand up to anything"
"fortunate for rulers that men do not think" -adolf hitler

after my bulletin board, i fixed my study table. before no trace of wood is seen through all those "trash" (meaning books, scratch papers, notebooks, tests and other stuff from school). i sorted them out and placed them in the box where i keep all my books and handouts since first year. now, my table is a workable place again. my mom was so overjoyed that she can now see the table in the study table. haha...

for the past 2 days of my semestral break, i played the piano for at least an hour. i made a goal to study sonata 15 in G major by mozart before the second semester starts. before i sleep, i listen to that piece on cd so that it will be easier to study because i know the beat and how it sounds. i'm mastering the easy parts first in the middle of the piece. a little practice everyday. i might practice again later.

i also rearranged my closet this morning. i found tops that i was looking for that were hidden in the bottom of the pile. i placed all my clothes on the bed and did a little organizing. sleeveless, white shirts, shirts with collar, casual shirts, long sleeves, jogging pants, spags (yes, i do have spags. i just don't wear them to school. *wink*) then returned them neatly in my closet. phew! now i can choose from a wide variety of my clothes, now that i can see all of them.

but. but. but. the block outing didn't push through today. we were going in circles for the last 2 weeks, deciding on where we would go since we had no transportation going to ek. darls and jace pointed out that since we really wanted the ek badly, we would postpone the outing to november 6. maybe by that time, we will have a transportation to sta rosa.

i forgot. i still have to finish the shark tale i left undone last thursday. anyway... i'm just lazy to narrate. don't worry, i have the whole semestral break to do that. and just watch the movie. it's as fun as finding nemo.

i finally got hold of my harry potter 5 book. and i finished reading it! yes!


hhheeellloooo...... SEMBREAK!!

>> Thursday, October 14, 2004

i just came from my philo orals. i've never felt this relieved in my whole freaking life. it's just so great. i don't know how i did with my orals. and i don't care. as long as i "finally" got the answers after a series of "ennkkks" with sir.

sir was kind enough to lead me to the point. i was so frustrated to getting the right answer that i completely blacked out infront of him. 50% of the time, i gave him smiles and faces that meant "wait sir, i'm just thinking of any answer to give you." i got number 8, which was about descartes and his umd (universal methodic doubt). i didn't know where to start so i asked sir to ask me first.

==get back to you. andyan na sundo ko. this is my last internet moment sa school. see you next sem.=

1015 pm

ok. let me get back to my orals. actually, it was full of gibberish. i didn't know where i was going. i just said everything i knew about it. sir was kind enough to ask me questions to lead me to the right answer. i didn't know how long it went, i thought it would be the longest 15 minutes of my life. the only point of number 8 was that descartes is wrong because of his universal methodic doubt. he is an idealist meaning that all he says is true is on his mind. it is wrong because how can you be sure that your "thinking" is true? it also can be subject to doubt. the "thinking" is the only thing that briges the spirit and the world. etc, etc.

*if you haven't taken your orals yet, you can play on that idea. just mention the universal methodic doubt*

i just went crazy as soon as i stepped out of the philo department. i was happy that everything is over. including me. i'm still stressed up to now, but not because of the tests, it's because of my grades. i can't afford to have an F, everyone knows that. i'll be stripped off my priviledges of being a scholar. shoot. i need to get at least a C.

ok, enough of my ranting. back to the topic. before i went home, edlyn left me with words of wisdom that i will never forget till i graduate...


thanks edlyn. haha.

so after my philo whatever, my mom and dad fetched me and headed to the movies to watch something. we were supposed to watch farenheit 9/11, but it was not anymore showing in robinson's nova. so we went to our second choice: a shark tale.

i think it is goood....

promise, it was. the story is about a fish (i don't know what kind of fish but it was blue and yellow), played by will smith. he wanted to be rich and famous and be able to live at the penthouse of some building. he could do it, however, he was so lazy with his job, kept on advancing his paycheck, and all he got were loads of debts. so he was left with 24 hours to pay his boss 25 (or was it 50?) clams or else he will lose his job. his friend, angie (played by renee zelwegger, who had a crush on will smith... oscar) lent him a pearl to pay for the debt. however, oscar did a very, very, intelligent decision. he decided to bet it on a seahorse race. buuuttt... inches away from the finish line and to the big pot, the seahorse (lucky star.. yeah, what luck) trips underwater. "who trips underwater? who- trips... underwater?!?!" good bye bet, good bye pearl, goodbye job. oscar, is soooo going down. he was bound and gagged, and left in the middle of nowhere to be stung by two stupid jellyfish (who were by the way the assistants of the boss... who is a blowfish).

it's 11 pm. i'll get back to this tomorrow. i need to sleep one or 2 hours before 12. so that i won't get sick. again. ehehe.

gnyt world and hello sembreak!


trangkaso? mag bioflu na!

>> Tuesday, October 12, 2004

limang araw na mayroong sakit. iisa lang pala ang solusyon. bioflu. ayuz. limang araw din na ako'y may sipon. ang resulta? di ango maka-ina. di ango maka-tungog. ay ang shipon.

ewan ko ba kung bakit nagsama-sama ang mga kamalasan ng mundo. may sakit na nga ako, may pagsusulit ako sa tatlong pinaka-ayokong klase ngayon, tapos nadapa pa ako nung linggo. wais na mundo. pero, buti nalang, nagising ako ngayong araw na ito na walang sipon ni sakit ng lalamunan ko. may ibig sabihin kaya ito? ahmmm.. isip-isip!

kwento ko nalang yung pagkadapa ko noong linggo. pauwi na ako kasama ang nanay ko galing sa crossroad. tuwing linggo kasi, iniiwan namin ang tatay ko sa crossroad dahil may trabaho siya don sa tech booth (para bang dj kung ikukumpara sa mga bar) hanggang alas-nuebe ng gabi. kaya sumasakay kami ng fx ng nanay ko pauwi. pag tawid namin ng daan, nakaapak ako ng bato na sobrang kinis at bilog na bilog. gumulong ito kasama paa ko, at natural, di ba ako matatapilok non? ayun, nagmukha akong miriam quiambao sa harapan ng mga tao. nasugatan ang kaliwang braso ko at ang kaliwang tuhod ko. nakakatawa na nakakahiya na ewan. laki-laki ko na, nadadapa pa. haay nako, sa susunod, di na kami dun maglalakad. hehe.

kahapon, pagsusulit sa history. muntik pa kami ma-late ni ina. bagal namin maglakad, dinaanan pa namin si xander, kumain pa kami, nakipag-usap pa kami ni jake (tunkol sa test), at tinignan pa ang seating arrangement bago namin nabatid na magsisimula na pala ang pagsusulit. open book at open notes ang pagsusulit. buti naman, dahil kung hindi pwede magbukas ng mga libro, malamang hindi ko masasagutan yung mga kakaibang tanong ng aming guro. tama ba namang tanungin kung ano ang palayaw ng nanay ni emilio aguinaldo, kung ano ang sinabi ng isang amerikanong heneral, kung ano ang parte ng national historical insitute, ano ang palayaw ni jose rizal, at kung ano-ano pa. ewan ko na kung papasa pa ako doon.

bago kami umuwi ni ina, dumaan kami sa departamento ng teolohiya para tingnan ang aming class standing kay locker. ang saya-saya, B ako. pero kung na-A ko yung huling pagsusulit, malamang exepmted narin ako. pero D lang ako doon sa pangalawang pagsusulit dahil sa kanyang multiple choice. isang tanong ba naman, limang puntos ang katumbas? kung puro essay lang yon, nagawa ko pang taasan yon. haay. ibabawi ko nalang yon sa finals. mamaya na pala yon. wais. di ako nag-aaral.

oo na. mag-aaral na ako. babalikan ko to sa biyernes. peksman.


hello fever, but not goodbye to study...

>> Saturday, October 09, 2004

oh the wonders of friendster. i just got a message from my long lost friend from church. remember me? -krichelle.. of course! who would forget my best friend, waaayy baacck in rgh (oh rgh days.. hehe) i can't believe how long it was since i saw her. i missed those days when we had a girl barkada in church. there wer five of us: me, krichelle, camille, herkelle and jena. we were always together, every sunday. then times changed. camille went to the states because her parents found work there, krichelle moved to another church that was nearer to their house (she lives in alabang), herkelle had some problems and stopped going to church. so jena and i were the ones left. since the fab 5 (do i sound like some scq star?) is not anymore intact, jena and i decided to join a new group. now, it's the sonshine peeps. the bigger family, the wacky group. that's where we were able to discover our musical abilities. jena and i became part of the praise and worship team.

but seeing krichelle's name on my friendster list makes me wonder, will the 5 of us get back together as friends? it may be one step to see each other again, but i guess we won't be the same as before. we have changed a lot. jena and i are not that close anymore, even if she tells me her school problems whenever we catch each other at ym. krichelle lives 10 million miles away from my house, but she goes to church 2 blocks away from my cousin's house. i don't even know whether we will be able to see each other again soon.

without that friendster thing, i won't be able to find old friends. even though i just add people for the heck of it - even if i don't really know them personally - there's always room for friends and even best friends.

oh yes, the wonders of friendster.

my throat still hurts. and my nose is running like some dripping faucet. tissue. tissue. now, i look like ina's bestfriend in non-fic. at least i'm not twirling it around. hehe.

after my bath, i had a wrestling match with mom. yeeap, a wrestling match. we were standing facing each other, my hands interlocked with hers, and we were pushing each other. i missed our wrestling matches. we always have one when i was small and it was only this morning when it happened again. i remember those times when we would throw pillows at each other until the whole house looked like a battle field of bedroom and throw pillows. haayy.. what fun. amidst all those giggles and shouts of "papaaaaaa!!!", i was able to push mom away even if i had the fever. hah! weeeneeerrr!!!

at last! i finished revising my non fic drafts. one portfolio down! history paper up next, then history, then theo, then philo. arrgghh.. my head is starting to ache just to see all the things that need to be done. i need to eat. now.


welcome to loserville. population: one. ME.

>> Friday, October 08, 2004

3 days to go and i'll be hacking my brains for the finals. good thing i don't have any classes for today, which means i have more time to study and do my papers.

what to do:
outline my philo thesis statements
read my theo 2nd set of notes
revise for non fic portfolio
do my history optional paper

today, i'll finish revising my folio and my paper for history. so that tomorrow, i'll focus on my history and my philo.

at least the load for my history test is not comprehensive. the test will only cover the part of the revolution. less readings to read, less stress. amen.

and i'll have something to do than dream about myself in ina's cast party. sheesh. darn. ow well, that's life. think of the brighter side yumi... more time to study. yeah right.

ok enough of this blogging. start studying yumi. start studying.

You came from heaven. Your goal in life is to help
others and to make the world a better place.
Some call you weak, but in reality your soul is
very strong. If only more people were like

Where did you come from?
brought to you by Quizilla


3 cups of coffee

>> Thursday, October 07, 2004

the next time i drink coffee will be at least 2 weeks from now. i had a slight cold this morning, and i wanted something hot to soothe my throat. there was no soup around, so i chose the next thing: coffee. i also drank 2 cups this morning. good news: i was wide awake. the bad news, too much caffeine.

today was my last day in learning links. after all those months, they forgot how to subtract and add. so frustrating. we started from scratch. after minutes of constant reminders, they were able to get it. finally. i guess that's how it goes with street kids. their attention span for learning is so short, that they immediately forget what we have learned. they think that studying is something required, not something to earn for their future. i bet when they grow up, their mentality will be like their parents, the goal of earning money to feed their family. no goals of service to others, passion for talents, and success with education. they're content with being a sex bomb dancer or a finalist for starstruck or star circle quest when they grow up. it is already hard to educate them, even if they are at a young age. they're fixed with what they have now, and they don't have any will to improve.

i gave my students a token for being my students for this sem. a coloring and activity book, and a box of crayons. in turn, they gave me a card.. awww...

jonalyn: dear ate naomi, maraming salamat sa maraming ginawa. i love you.
vince: maraming salamat sa tinuro mo sa amin sa plus at minus, times. i love you.
laisa: dear ate naomi, maraming salamat sa ginawa na plus at minus. nagmamahal, laisa
hazel: maraming salamat sa lahat ng ginawa mo sa amin. i love you.

all together now!! "awww............"

i didn't go home after my learning links. i returned to school with cerz. we promised each other that we would audition for the 2005 fine arts festival. that batch has no theater arts major so they had no one to act out their plays. they held open auditions for it and cerz and i decided to give it a try. besides, it's for the experience and nothing will be lost if i wasn't accepted for any role. pakapalan na to ng mukha!

i read two roles for two different plays. the first one was about two persons, talking about life. i was the "voice" offstage, somewhat like a conscience. i didn't get the storyline, maybe because it was only an exerpt of the play. i was supposed to read the part of ningning, one of the main characters. however, there was one part when i had to sing a song from the eraserheads. i didn't know the song so i asked cerz to read instead of me. i got the boses, which was not bad at all.

the second play was about 3 sisters, deciding on who will take care of their sick father. i first took the role of the middle child, the angelic sister who was willing to take care of him. however, i got tongue-tied and missy (the over all director) asked us to switch roles. i got the youngest. i liked my role better than the previous, because all i had to do was to whine and be grouchy. my role did not want to take care of the dad, because i hated to be bossed around by my big sisters. but i was so nervous that the script i was holding was shaking like there was an earthquake of some sort.

it was some experience. first time to act. i'm not expecting anything from them. i don't care if i don't get accepted or not, as long as i felt how was it to be part of some play, even if it was only the auditions. i enjoyed it while being nervous. i can't wait for our own fine arts festival. and i'm going to start to write a play during the semestral break.

i want to talk about my last day in history but... hmmm.. never mind. *wink*

what a good day. whee! no classes tomorrow! more time to study? yeah right.



>> Wednesday, October 06, 2004

listen to the drops of crystal sadness. it falls on pores created by the heavenly power. it holds all the purity he knew about her. he envies the girls walking beside their prince charmings, living up to the famous line "and they lived happily ever after". it was not like that for him; a drop to the deathful abyss of misunderstood love. he could have spoken those letters strung into sweet-smelling stationery embossed with red roses on the sides. he could have done it with slender fingers running through the lines of his guitar but she said it wasn't his role to be a romeo under her bedroom window. if only he was an eagle, ascending on the heatwaves of the earth, he would see her upside-down smile, swoop down, catch her, and lift her up. if only she could open her closed sound catchers, she would know how to fly.


the fish gotta swim!

i only have one class for today. philo. and what am i doing? spending the remaining time in the internet lab, waiting for 430. anyway, i have things to do such as...

> finish cerz's evaluation
> revision of my poems for sir yuson
> send the survey to teej
> internet to the max?

my wallet's coughing up air because i spent all my money for food. i was supposed to pay for cerz's food today because i lost in our bet. we promised not to take off the sonata ticket for two weeks. but i removed it during tito cary's wedding. so, goodbye bet, hello libre for cerz.. :) i only have 40 pesos in my wallet, and i should save it for tomorrow's lunch. oh shoot. i forgot. i still have to buy a token for the kids in learning links. how fun. goodbye lunch. hehe.

after our philo, cerz, ina and i went to cerz's dorm to watch kris's show on channel 2. forgive me, i don't know the name of her show... do i still ahve to give the reason why? i guess you know the answer. if not, poor you. hehe. joke. anyway, their directing teacher, yani was featured, along with his band, the mongols. freestyle and southborder was there too. yani was so funny. while freestyle was playing, there was a camera shot showing the audience. yani was in the first row, head down, and holding a piece of paper. in was the one who noticed. it looked like he was grading the papers from his directing class. "papansin talaga si yani" ina said. cerz texted yani to be sure (since the show was taped earlier) of what he was doing. yani replied and said, "yeah, i was checking nana's paper". ok. so he was still working even on the set. in front of everybody. haha. they were the last ones to perform, and it was a rock band. of course, it was my first time to see them perform, engeng ako pagdating sa mga banda. i don't watch mtv or myx often, so i don't know anybody from the music industry. i couldn't believe yani as a bass player. i've only seen him in plays and in directing class, i haven't seen his "wild" side not until this morning. if you would look at him, you wouldn't think he is a teacher. hehe. in fairness in fairview, their band is good.

we headed to world tops for lunch. anna (ina's sister) was with us, along with edlyn and jace. the food was delicious, and the price is reasonable. especially the flavored coffee. yun. it was cheap, only 45 pesos... topped with vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup. yum. we talked about ina's play, and their upcoming awards night on friday. too bad i can't come, because mom didn't allow me. reason? next week is finals week and i have to study. jeez. there goes my sleepover, hello, hell. anna was narrating ina's play, when all of a sudden, she began to sing OUT LOUD.

"the fish gotta swim, the birds gotta fly"

if ina didn't hush her, anna would have created an on-the-spot concert in world tops. hehe.

anyway, i'm going to cerz's dorm after sending the survey for teej and cerz's evaluation. since i don't have theo, i don't want to spend the rest of my time here in school being a loner. hehe.


tuesday morning madness

>> Tuesday, October 05, 2004

omg. i was able to fix my yesterday's account on the play. good thing jace was with me this morning to teach me how to resize the pictures. jace took pictures of cerz's play but when i uploaded it on my blog, the pictures just flashed on the screen, and covered up the whole blog. since i didn't know how to resize them, i made a plan a:

1. save the pictures from jace's photobucket to my pictures folder
2. upload it on the block e egroups
3. the egroups automatically resizes it
4. save them again in the folder
5. then upload it in my photobucket account

long process? haayy... if jace didn't come to my rescue, i would've done that thing. jace taught me how to resize the pictures through photobucket. whee!!

1. save the pictures from jace's photobucket to my pictures folder
2. upload them to my account
3. then resize them!!

5 steps to just 3 steps. i was done in just 30 mins. check yesterday's post!!!! na-excite talaga ako. i want to shout here in the foyer. cut it out yumi, manong "sungit" guard might kick you out. save it for later. hehe. i can now breathe in peace. can't wait to watch the video!


phone sex and a dumb show by steven sater

>> Monday, October 04, 2004

it's not a dumb show.. hehe.. here's cerz's play.. with pictures.

the cast. charles and gabs as peeping tom and gray, respectively.

[gray in his appartment. he's packing an overnight bag-not his- with clothes and toiletries, also not his. he hasn't slept and is unsure just what to pack. the phone rings]
GRAY: [answering phone] hello.
TOM: [we hear but do not see him] hello.
GRAY: yeah? who is it?
TOM: it's me.
GRAY: who?
TOM: me.
[a beat]
GRAY: ken, i'm too tired for this.
TOM: not ken. [a beat; playfully] guess again.
[a beat]
GRAY: who is this?
TOM: just me.
[a beat]
GRAY: me, who?
TOM: just a fan. [no response from gray] now, what are you putting in that bag? going away from the weekend?
[gray jerks his head toward the window.]
GRAY: who is this?
TOM: [leadingly] who is anyone?
[gray hangs up. looks out again. moves away. the phone rings.]
GRAY: oh my god. [he speaks to the window] i won't get it. [a long beat. the phone rings and rings. finally, he answers it.] how did you get my number?
TOM: baby, come on. i've got your number.
GRAY: you are crazy.
TOM: [gray shouldn't call him crazy] now, baby, don't be bad to daddy.
GRAY: "daddy?!" jesus! [gray starts to hang up the phone]
TOM: don't hang up! i'll spank you.
[a beat]
GRAY: spank me?!
TOM: oh yeah, my hands are ready.
[a beat]
GRAY: [looking out the window} where are you?
TOM: [an immediate command; forcefully] look down.
[a beat]
GRAY: look down?
TOM: to your shoes. [a beat] do it. [a beat. gray looks down to his shoes.] good. good boy. now, look up. [a beat. gray looks up] yeah, good, baby. now down. to your shoes. [gray looks down again.] good. now bring your hands along your thighbones. [a beat] like you do it. [a beat] you know, like you do with him.
GRAY: [looking out the window again] what?!
TOM: [a forceful command] look down!
GRAY: [gray looks down] you've seen us? [meaning "it's impossible!] no!
TOM: [after a beat, seductively] oh, yeah. i've seen you... mm.. hmmm...
GRAY: but-
TOM: oh, baby...
GRAY: you-?
TOM: uh, huh...
GRAY: no!
TOM: [after a beat] baby, come on, let go. [no response. a longer beat] baby, i had to call you; you just looked so good.
GRAY: yeah, right
[a beat, then]
TOM: baby...
GRAY: what?
TOM: make me good.
[a beat]
GRAY: no.
[a beat; then]
TOM: no...?
[a beat]
GRAY: no.
TOM: "no, no, daddy."
GRAY: [with a laugh] "no, no, daddy?!"
[a beat]
TOM: there, isn't that better? no let me unzip your pants.
GRAY: no.
TOM: "no, no, daddy." [a beat] come on.. just a little. [gray hesistates] baby, feel my hand. feel it?
GRAY: uuhhh...
TOM: that's it. just relax... lemme do it for you. lemme rub it for you. here. lemme make it good... [a beat] baby... baby... i love you, baby... daddy loves you, baby... [a beat] baby, how is it for you? is it good? [no response] baby, tell me what you feel. you feel like-
GRAY: like-i'm so alone.
TOM: baby...
GRAY: so... alone.
TOM: no, baby...
GRAY: frank's...
TOM: forget about frank.
GRAY: frank's...
TOM: you don't need frank.
GRAY: frank's...
TOM: i said forget about frank.
GRAY: they took him.
TOM: huh?
GRAY: on a stretcher. he couldn't breathe. [a silence] god, i don't know. i'm so...
TOM: what, baby?
GRAY: alone.
[a beat. then peeping tom hangs up.]
GRAY: [doubling over, receiver in hand] no. no. no. no. no.
[gray hangs up the phone. the phone rings. gray won't answer it. the phone rings. a beat, then he picks up.]
GRAY: please, don't.
TOM: baby, i- [a beat] what can i say to you... baby? [a beat, then] look, i-- well-- i lost somebody too.
[a beat. tom hangs up. gray sits a moment then breaks down in tears. he's crying as the lights fade to black.]



>> Saturday, October 02, 2004

i actually did the dare for edlyn. i wore high heeled shoes to school which was supposed to be for edlyn. and i spent the whole day sitting down. hehe. actually, it was mom's wedding shoes that she outgrown. it was the right size for me, except for the toe part. i hate those ends where it narrows down to an arrow shaped head that would fit only a toe in it. so i had to walk to ctc and sec and gonzaga with my toes squeezed through the ends of the shoes. but congratulate me, i did not trip. whee!!

yesterday was our freaking hard philo long test. i guess it was somewhat easier than the first one (but still difficult to answer) because i reread the articles before the long test. so i knew where i was going. i knew what i was going to say, but i can't seem to put it into words. that was the difficult part. good thing i brought my lappie tappie along so that my draft would not be as dirty as the first one. and i got to organize my thoughts. i guess i'm used to writing drafts on the computer now. then sir came in at 820pm, carrying a mcdonald's bag (big mac, large drink, and large fries) and started to eat in front of us. wow. how thoughtful. we were there, hungry and frustrated because we were having a hard time with the test, and sir was there, savoring every bite of his big mac. jay approached him to give his paper and added, "sir, sarap naman ng kinakain nyo..."

"oo nga eh", came sir's reply. that was it? "oo nga eh..." yun lang? he did not even offer his fries. wow. buti pa si sir yuson, binigyan kami ng fries.

anyway, here is the most annoying part. at the start of the test, i was busy looking for answers in the book, my fone vibrates, telling me that someone dropped a call. it was someone i didn't know so i replied with "who's this please?" here was the reply.

[kilala mo si jm or si juan miguel. ikaw ba yung girlfriend niya o friend niya? ako pala kapatid niya.]

man, he's way different from jm's sister. what's his problem? why does he have to butt in my world? and so what if i'm his friend or what? i don't need his text. i showed the text to cerz and edlyn. cerz was the one who replied with [i'm not.]

right after that, i texted regi and jm about it. they both told me not to mind that guy-from-somewhere-and-i-don't-care. my fone vibrated again and it was still him.

[ahh.. so friend ka nya? ano uli name mo?]
my reply c/o cerz: [i'm taking a test at the moment.]
his stupid reply that made me angry for the rest of the night:
[sory 4 dis2rbing u just want 2 knw. gudluck mis englisera.]

what the?! is he crazy or what? in ina's words, kebs niya? i'm taking a test, it was done in simple english, and care niya? what's with the englisera part? i forwarded his message to jm and regi. good thing jm was in a good mood at that time because he, dane and drex were at a rock concert at up alumni so he said that i shouldn't give a damn care about it.

gray: oh my god.

i won't answer any of his texts anymore. wala akong paki sa kanya. panira lang yon ng buhay.

gray: how did you get my number?!?!?!


ps. and oh yeah, remember the friendster account? i asked him last night, it's his.


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