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tis the season to be jolly

>> Wednesday, December 29, 2004

last december 24 was my happiest christmas eve ever.

i was part of our church's christmas concert. we always have our traditional concerts one day before the big christmas bash. two christmases ago, i was also part of it, but i never felt the excitement of being part of something big. but this year was different.

last month, bro eugene told me that the choir needed more singers for the concert. since i knew how to read notes, it would be easy for me to catch up with the rest of the singers. i grabbed the opportunity since i left my previous choir and my vocal chords were rusting already. i joined them during their last rehearsal.

two weeks before the show, we had a series of rehearsals with the whole cast. the concert consisted of spiels by raymond lauchengco, zaq, goya and tess. they would talk about their christmas memories then in the middle of those spiels, they would sing some songs. it didn't necessarily have to be christmas songs, just songs that made them remember christmas. it ranged from getting lost in hongkong, a marriage, carolling, roller coasters, and an airplane. then they made a segway to the true meaning of christmas which was Christ's birth. then, the finale was the choir. we would enter from the audience, carrying flashlights that looked like candles. every 5 steps, we would enter one by one until we reached the stage. at the end of our songs, conffetti would rain down.

we ended 10 pm for every rehearsal. raymond did not want us to go home late so that we would not strain our voices. he even gave us a vacation the day before our show.

on the 24th, everybody was alive and kicking on our call time. we arrived 12 noon sharp to do a run-through and minor adjustments. i was so excited because i was proud to say that i am really a part of something this christmas. the run through was so perfect with all the videos and smoke machines. it was like the real thing, except that we were all in our casual clothes, slippers and unruly hair.

2 hours before the show, everybody was getting ready. the girls were in one corner of the dressing room fixing our hair and putting on make-up. they put in interest on my long hair and decided to play with it. they got out a brush and hair straightener (ano ba plancha sa english?) and pulled my hair in different directions. some were not contented with the make-up i put on my face. it was too light, daw. after my hair, they transferred to my face and fixed my make-up. the guys saw our commotion and came to look at what was happening. someone from the ladies told the guys to wear light make-up or else their faces would not seen with all those lights. they snatched the foundation and powder from us and started to experiment. minutes later, the guys looked like they were ready to be buried in funeraria paz. hehe. girls came to the rescue to fix their white faces. placing make-up on the guys took longer than fixing ourselves. but it was fun.

during the show, we never thought about our notes anymore. we just enjoyed the whole thing and what we learned the past weeks came in naturally.

i was happy with the results but at the same time i was feeling sad because that was the only day i got to bond with the people. after the show, we would go our separate ways. there would no more be late rehearsals and food trips. no more duck talks with alexis and joke times with the guys. there will be no more karaoke periods during breaks and silly questions like "bakit, ano, kelan?"

beep. beep.

a text message. we will sing again on sunday! whee! another day with the choir! yipeedoo!

i just can't give up now
come so far from where i'm started from
nobody told me the road would be easy
i can't believe he brought me this far to leave me

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happy stress-day to you

>> Monday, December 20, 2004

if it weren't for jace, i wouldn't have known that there was something due tomorrow. and the thing is, i can't pass anything without having consultations with sir. i couldn't find a common time with cerz and ina to meet up in sir's studio in kamuning so we decided to meet next year. but no, the deadline for consultations were last friday. and today's monday. so 3 days late. uh-oh. panic. no consultation, no homework, no grade.

so i texted sir and bargained with him for last minute consultations. i guess he was annoyed with me because i kept texting him minute after minute (well, not literally). i couldn't contain myself with all the panic rushing through me that i was in a bad mood the whole time. finally, sir gave in and decided to meet me in robinson's metro east. in frio mixx beside the cinemas. 4 pm.

i got lost in robinsons. robinsons is in front of sta lucia mall. and the entrance is side by side so if you're unfamiliar with the place, you would think that the two driveways were leading to one mall. but no. we ended up parking in sta lu and we got lost looking for the entrance of robinsons. we kept on walking in circles inside sta lu. we spent 15 minutes looking for a way that connected sta lu to robinsons. wala pala. nice.

we went out again, went around the whole mall until we found the real entrance of robinsons. at last.

sir was already there, looking annoyed. but his face loosened up when he saw that i was with my parents. (hah, natakot siguro) so chika-chika. we got to the proposals and the things needed to be submitted tomorrow. we ended at 5 pm. but we stayed when sir left to fix his things for his trip tomorrow to somewhere. we decided to eat our dinner there, since we were already in a restaurant.

i had to rush to crossroad after that because i had rehearsals for our christmas presentation on friday. i arrived 630 (30 minutes late from the 6pm call time) and raymond lauchengco (the director) was not in good terms. he was pissed off because everyone came in late (guilty ako) so they couldn't start on time. but raymond tried to keep peace with us since it was our first major rehearsal. we practiced our blocking, entrances, and exits. then he called it a day so that tomorrow, it will be a full blast rehearsal.

arrrghh.. now i'm cramming my proposals with ina. my head's aching.

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karistmas partey

>> Saturday, December 18, 2004

yesterday, we had our block christmas party. it was another chance to see all the people who were/are part of the block in one place, one event. even if people came in different time intervals, the block was still complete. i wab shu guys!

awards night uli ako...

jace > for the bag and white board. hehe. panay drawing na yung board, hindi reminders. haha. christmas break kasi eh, walang makukulit na teachers. haha. did ya like the book? buti nalang di ka sumama sa sub text, kung hindi, di namin yon mabibili. hahaha.

edlyn and jiheyn > wakeroo!! another ateneo jacket! this time, with the word ateneo on it! hahaha.. wala nang angal nanay ko. sabi niya "waw! ang ganda ng jacket! feeling atenista ka ha! ay, may ateneo sa likod..."

darls > yipee! feeling bata uli ako, kasama ko natulog ang racoon. hehe. wala pa pala akong pangalan for the stuffed toy. hmmm... at least may kasama na si watson pag wala ako! haha

ceres > bagong hikaw! dangling pa! girlash na girlash na ako!

hanniel > sing-along na ako! weee aarrree daaaa riiisssooonnn daaatt heee gaaayybb hiiiss laaayyyp!

liezl > stuffed toy uli! haha. this time, it's a panda. a black and white panda. nyork, lahat naman ng panda black and white. labo yumi

kim > aaahh... sarap ng iyong massager (or whatever you call it) habang nanood ako ng tv kagabi, inantok na ako. pero nung minasahe nanay ko yung likod ko, haha. tawa ako nang tawa. hindi ako pwede sa spa. hehe. hanggang braso lang ako at legs.

billy > sorry about the venue, we couldn't find you sa rock garden kaya we went back to ctc. hehe

chino > don't worry about it. it's the thought that counts. buti nga nakarating ka pa eh

danielle > thanks for coming! block e ka talaga! thanks din sa drinks. hehe

abi > yung gift ni cerz sayo, nasa akin pa. hehe. nakalimutan ko ibigay sayo. sa january nalang.

chika > looong time nooo seeee! shempre, nung nagkita tayo, cards parin inatupag natin. haha. hindi nawawala ang cards

maan at jan > as sweet as always. thanks for coming! salamat narin sa brownies! hehe

abet > ang tnt namin. pa-cute talaga sa picture. ganda ng picture mo, kasama sila edlyn at jihan! tama, pwede ibigay sa whatta mouth!

loi > isa pa 'tong long time no see.

mitch > pizza! pizza! salamat sa pizza! saka sa iyong paglaro ng tong-its. hindi na ka makakalimutan ni jihan.

xander > we lab shu! haha. grabe, biruin mo, si xander pumunta sa christmas party ng block! how sweet! may secretary ba ng dept na ganyan? wala, kami lang meron nyan!

wala na akong nakalimutan diba?????

yehey! thanks block e!

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wet tissue

>> Wednesday, December 15, 2004

i poured everything out during my guidance interview this morning. i also realized that i do have a lot of issues especially at home.

independence was the main topic of my conversation with ma'am belle (my counselor). now that i'm in college, i have always strived for independence especially from my mother. it seems that my parents does not treat me like they should treat a teenager. they still think that i'm still a kid, sitting on their lap. so every move i make is noticed. whatever i do, there should be be approval from them first. they would get mad whenever i do things my way. i am a puppet whenever i'm with them. well, even if i am in school, their presence haunts me. i have to text them when i eat outside. i have to tell them when i go to somebody's house. then i have to assure them that i have arrived school. they should know always where am i. i feel trapped with that situation. of course, it's hard to make decisions on my own because my parents will always have a say on it. any stupid mistake will result in a confrontation and a long sermon. they do not let me suffer the consequences so that i will learn from my mistakes. they tell me everything what i have to do without letting me expreience the real life. it's like giving me a book on how to ride a bike without letting me ride one. whenever i want to deal with a situation all by myself, i always have to submit a progress report (well, not literally) to my parents for them to check whether i made the right decision or not. and always, ALWAYS, they butt in and confront the situation as if it is their life. just like this afternoon. i told my teacher that i don't want to play tarantella for my recital because i have played that for 4 times already. sir and i had an agreement that he would give me a lot of pieces and i would be the one to choose the one i like. now here is the very annoying part. when i came out of the room, my mother barged in the room and confronted my teacher about the tarantella piece. she kept on talking and talking. i could not butt in and tell her that we have settled a decision already. why couldn't i be left in peace? WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS HAVE TO INTERFERE?

the greatest problem that made me cry was when the topic on friends was opened. my mother has high expectations when it comes to my friends. she doesn't like my friends from church and some of my friends from school. it seems that she doesn't understand that i know who my friends are. she sees them in first impressions and lets it stick. her closed mindedness on friends suffocates me so much that i tend to rebel sometimes. doesn't she know that there are no perfect friends? there will be some flaws in some of them, but it doesn't mean that they are less of a friend. she doesn't understand that. she always compare my friends from her friends which always annoy me. people are different and i don't care of her friends. this is my life and my friends. i choose them, not you. and it's as if she does not want me to have guy friends. at all. oh come on, i've been in an all-girls' school and for 4 years i was surrounded by girls whom i could not relate to. whenever i talk to guys and see that i am having fun with them, she thinks that i am flirting with them. she tells me that it gives them an idea that i like them or what. but she doesn't understand the fact that i am looking for a brother figure no matter how many times i try to explain. she tells me why not talk to my dad? a teenager friend who knows what i am going through is different from talking to a grown-up. older guy friends is an assurance that they can be brothers. they know that i see them only as friends an not more than that. that is why i don't have any suitors because they know that i'm not ready for any commitment. but geez, my mother does not think so. that what makes me so angry. rebelling like inviting them to school for lunch or just a short chit-chat makes me feel like a human because i have someone to talk to. and some of them have known me since i was in grade school that's why they know what i'm going through. i have trust in them that all my secrets are safe. but my mother does not approve of them. oh great.

that's why i'm in a difficult situation. i present two different personalities: one at home and a different one when i'm in school. i am only able to be myself when i'm in school because that's the only freedom i have for that day. well, not total freedom because i still have to update my every move to my parents. i cannot be myself when i'm at home because it will be of no use when i tell them what i really want in my life. it will always lead to a long argument and i will always be left in silence so that it will all be over. i have no say when i'm at home. i don't get my side heard because they won't listen. yes, they do hear it, but they still shove the things in my mouth they want to hear from me. so i tell them what makes them happy, not what makes me happy. i just don't want more heated discussions because i will lead to nowhere.

i don't know when will this end. i'm fearing for my future after college. what if they're still like that? what if they still treat me like a 2-year old kid? i'm trying very hard to make life easy for them and i'm trying to keep it that way until i graduate. i can wait patiently until i walk the aisle. but the future for me is still a blur. what if i work already? do i still have to tell them when i'm in the office already?

i can't stop the tears.

this is the other side of yumi.

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we really do not know

>> Tuesday, December 14, 2004



geez. months ago, he was alive and kicking, and had all the strength when he ran for presidency last may. 2 days ago, the whole philippines was shocked to hear that he suffered a stroke and was confined in st. luke's hospital. then he was in comatose. and now, he's dead. the king of film is now with his creator.

i wasn't really a fan of fpj. and i didn't appreciate his candidacy for president. however, after the breaking news, i could not help feel sorry for da king. i mean, he could have been stronger if he did not bother to run last may. i jumped into a conclusion on why he suffered a stroke. maybe he was depressed because of the millions he lost because of the elections. it may have caused him to drink to forget his problems. he could've led a quiet life if he didn't run for the highest position in the country.

but why play on the emotions of his fans? why did they still have to push on the fact that they have to continue the fight? man, the guy's dead already.

maybe it's better if we remember his good deeds as an actor, director, and producer and follow his example than push for another fpj to the seat of the president.

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to kuya

>> Monday, December 13, 2004

having someone to talk to is better than keeping a journal. or better yet, an online journal. your get instant feedbacks, comments, and suggestions when you have a conversation with somebody.

i poured out all my insights and rantings to my friend. i kept on talking and talking, telling everything, without thinking of what was going out of my mouth. i just kept on going on and on. he just sat there, not saying a word, just listening every minute that passed. i knew it was a burden for him that i was raising my voice to someone who had no clue on what i was really going on with my life. he was just picking up details that came from me. he comforted me, telling me that it's just part of my life. i may be too tired from the events that i am going through, but giving in to my feelings will make a big fat loser. (it reminds me of the myth of sisyphus.. hah, philo) he told me that i should accept the fact that it is life.

i knew he had other things to finish, like his advertising project, yet he still took the time to give me advice. he never runs out of comforting words to keep me alive for a day.

after my drama, i was not in the mood. i was supposed to tell my rantings here in my blog. but after talking to him, my outcome changed, and now, i'm in a good mood.

thanks.

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boys

>> Thursday, December 09, 2004

people always tease me of having a lot of boys. well, i have noticed it, i do have a lot of friends who are guys. it does not make me a tom-boy or something of that sort, but they incorporate it of having a lot of "rivers" (haha.)

i explained everything during our group interpretation in the guidance office last tuesday.

everyone knows that i am an only child. it's a weird fact that i have never asked for a younger brother or sister, just an older brother. i know it's impossible to have a kuya, but that was my ultimate wish since i was a kid. my cousin who is also an only child wanted to have an older brother too. i don't know where i got that idea of wanting a brother, i just did.

so everytime i have friends who have kuyas, i easily get along with them. i enjoy calling them "kuya". and when i reached high school, i was enrolled in an all-girls' school. so whenever there were soirees or interactions, my friends were looking for crushes while i was seeking an older brother. so when i had a friend from the other school who is a boy, people started teasing me with him. boyfriend ko daw. but there wasn't any feeling of like or something. i was just "close" with guys.

i had more guy friends when i joined sunday school in church. right now, most of my closest friends are guys. it's as if i am more open with them than with my other friends who are girls. others see it as 'boylets' but they know that i see them as kuyas. i had an agreement with one of my guy friends that i would be his little sister and he would be my big brother. so whenever we would meet or text each other, i always start the conversation with "hey big bro!" i also call my other friends "kuya" so that they will know that that's how i see them. as my big brothers.

it really doesn't matter whether or not my blockmates and friends tease me with guys, what matters is that i know that there will be nothing else beyond that friendship. they're my kuyas. that's why when something comes up and i beat the hell out of them, communication falters after that incident.

kuya. kuya. kuya.

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not a back-"yard" but a back-"kilometer"

>> Wednesday, December 08, 2004

The winds blew and the rain fell nonstop. I could hear the trees resisting the typhoon Yoyong from uprooting them from the ground. They stood still and firm while the leaves swayed and tried to hold on to the branches. Swooooosh! Whhoooooo!!! The wind sang mercilessly and blew with all her might. She made sure that she did not miss any spot without ramming into any tree or house. Two days after, I stared out the window to check on the trees if they were still there. The trees were still there, beaten and tired from the typhoon, and the ground was a sea of fallen leaves and branches. Uh-oh. I said to myself. If great grandpa Lolo Andres were still here, he would have shaken his fist to the skies and scolded the typhoon for messing up his backyard. My Lolo had a deep relationship and passion for his trees.
Our backyard has been around way back since I was born. Lolo Andres was the one who bought the land and built a small house to fit a small family. He did not want a magnificent house on a large piece of land. Instead, he erected a two-story house on a small area of the lot and created a mini forest on the rest of the barren land. 80% of the land was used for business. He set up a poultry house, a pig farm, and a forest of fruit trees in his backyard. Months after, meat sellers from the market flocked our house to buy pigs, chicken, geese, and poultry eggs. Lolo Andres became famous for his farm, but he was more proud of his trees.
As soon as he settled down with his wife, Lolo Andres started to plant different kinds of seeds on the newly tilled soil. He would water them everyday, talk to them, and make sure that his plants would get all the sunlight needed. Great grandmother Lola Agatona told me (years later when I was born and when we lived with them) that sometimes, Lolo Andres would water his seeds with urine because he believed that there are a lot of minerals in it. The seeds grew into the biggest trees you would ever see in the whole subdivision. The trees bloomed the sweetest fruits during harvest period. My grandparents did anymore have to buy fruits from the market because they had an abundant supply from their trees. Lolo Andres did not throw the leftovers in the trashcan, he buried the seeds again so that it will sprout new trees. The skins of the fruits went with the seeds for fertilizer. As time passed our backyard became a mini forest.
When I was born decades after, my mom and dad moved in with Lolo Andres and Lola Agatona. I began to join Lolo Andres with his journey with his trees. He let me use his mango tree as a tree house and the shade of the kamias tree as a mini store. I would create a village with the trees. The ducks and the geese were my playmates and I would pretend that I had a family of my own. But the ants invaded my tree house and I was left homeless. I evacuated to another mango tree that fell during a storm (but the roots were still intact to the ground). I didn’t want to be confined in a house all my play life, I wanted to travel and explore other trees. With all those trees planted in our backyard, there was still a patch of land that had no trees. Dad cemented it and became my road. I had go-cart races with my cousins, bike races, and marathons. I never got tired of playing in our backyard, there were a lot of things to explore and discover.
Sadly, Lolo Andres died on his 94th birthday. Lola Agatona left for the province after Lolo Andres was buried. She stayed there with her other siblings until she, too, left the world. His trees were left in our care. My parents sold the last of the pigs, chickens, and geese to Lolo’s suki. But my dad did not want to cut down the trees so there will be memories of Lolo Andres left with us. We were the ones who maintained his “seeds of hard work”.
I still continued to play with the trees. However, I knew there was something different. There were geese and chickens following me, there was no more a Lolo Andres who was looking after me, and there were no more free eggs from the poultry for snacks. My parents also had a hard time maintaining the big backyard and had to hire some of our neighbors to cut the branches and sweep the fallen leaves. We could not imagine how Lolo Andres took care of the whole lot without getting tired. We always try our best to keep our backyard as how Lolo Andres would maintain it, but we couldn’t.
Every harvest period, tons and tons of fruit bloom in the trees. My parents would give away excess fruit to neighbors, relatives, and friends. We never ran to the groceries to buy fruits (except for apples and grapes), there was always a fresh one waiting on the branches. Whenever we saw a flower, we would always wait in excitement for that flower to turn into a sweet-tasting fruit from Lolo Andres’s labor of love. Even if he is gone, his memories will always remain in the trees standing in our backyard.
Imagine at least twenty trees positioned in your backyard. They are not crammed up, nor are they small trees or shrubs. I’m talking of trees such as mango, coconut, chico, cocoa, papaya, jackfruit, suha, kamias, star fruit, atis, etc. Give space for new trees that will grow because of fallen seeds. Then squeeze in an open space as large as a tennis court in the middle of the trees for playing tag, morning exercises, first experiences such as riding a bike, elocution rehearsals, and go-cart racing. Possible for a backyard? Maybe not in your house, but that’s how my backyard looks like. All because of my Lolo Andres.

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knees shaking

>> Monday, December 06, 2004

last saturday, we had a major rehearsal with the over-all director, missy maramara. it was two weeks since i had my last rehearsal with the rest of the actors but we haven't had our blockings yet with cerz. so, as soon as we arrived at ateneo, we made last minute blocking with cerz as our director. it was stressing because we (especially me) could not get it right. karla kept on texting dana that we should be there at her house (the rehearsals were at karla's house). we only left ateneo when manong knocked at the painting room, asking for our reservation slip. we told him that xander gave us permission to use the classroom but we left anyway, so not to cause too much trouble. we thought we were the only ones that they were waiting for.

but no.

missy wasn't there yet. the actors were not complete and the rest were joking around, eating, and smoking. wow. we were stressed with the last minute touches, but the rest were stuffing themselves with pizza. how nice. it stressed us more because we thought that everyone was prepared with their plays. so we went out the lawn and had a mini discussion on the blocking.

missy arrived 30 minutes after. (we were supposed to meet 11 but missy arrived at 2. we arrived 1:30pm.) the rehearsals started and i couldn't contain myself. it was my first time to act infront of an audience (even if it was only a small number of people) and i didn't know whether or not i would get my lines right or remember all that cerz told us hours ago. our turn came and i left everything to my memory. i tried to act without the script, bahala na si batman.

yes, i did forget the blocking. i ended up sitting infront of one of the actors to the point that she could not be scene from an angle. i butted in during one line where i wasn't supposed to talk. i forgot when and where to turn. but, i was proud that i was able to say my lines 89% correct. hehehe... it was my first stage presentation with acting. boy, having stage fright really sucks.

making it to the cast of dana's play is not about getting the role, it's my way to be able to conquer my fear of acting. since i was small, i wanted to be part of a play but i have never got the guts to audition for one. after getting the role of nica makes me one step higher in accomplishing my goal of entering a play, even if i get to be one of the chorus. i'm not dreaming of becoming a lead. just be part of a musical production, and stepping on the wooden stage is enough for me.

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whoopeedooo... no classes... no philo!!

>> Friday, December 03, 2004

2 nights ago, i had a chat with ichie. i promised her that i would edit a poem someone gave her. it was about a red rose and how "whitely" that rose was. hehehe. we were discussing how a red rose became white. that's why i got the idea of revising it.

i know i'm not good with love poems, but here's my best shot.

ETERNAL ROSE

emerging from the barren soil
a white bud -- you
innocent, dove-like features
let the wind, sun and sky be your guide

the bast and eternal soul of the heavens
pours down its blessings on your pure soul
staining it red
remember
i am your rain

heart-shaped droplets touch your petals
showering you with my love
it comes
red-rose kisses

wind-blown petals fall to the ground
a part of you fades into the darkness
don't despair
look!
your rose arms are spreading
extending to the world beyond
embracing new feats in life

now, a full-grown rose
as red as your lips
full of life
full of love
i am with you
in you
never to be lonely again
my love, yes, you are

i will love you
till eternity comes to an end
my love, i shall love you

==========================================

geez, i'm not really good with those. hehehe. anyway...

yoyong, go away!!

check out my lj, jace just changed my layout. whopeedoo!! thanks jace!
no one mourns the wicked

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together in sonata op 36 no 4 in F major

>> Thursday, December 02, 2004

i now have a throb for my drama class. thanks to my piano teacher in up, sir roy asuncion (wahaha.. special mention!).

yesterday, i started my piano lessons in up. it was not my normal piano lesson, because usually, the teacher would ask me to play before giving me a new piece to study. however, yesterday, my teacher asked me to play a piece that i knew from my sonata book. he told me that each piece has its story to tell. the composer did not just write the pianissimo there for the sake of dynamics, there had to be a reason. so for the whole hour of lesson (which was supposed to be 30 mins only), sir provided the story while i played the background music.

after the lessons, i began to have the idea of making the piano piece into a play. why not?

the summary is about the journey of the left and the right hand. they are travelling through the path of the black and white made up of ivory. they do not know what to expect along the way or where will their emotions take them. it's a journey of ups and downs, arguments and laughter.

i even don't know the ending because sir and i haven't made the story of the last 3 movements. it took us an hour to make up a story for the first 2 movements. we're going to continue the story next wednesday. maybe by then, i would know the ending of my story.

so, here's my throb. read along. these will be my guidelines when i write my play.

1. details of experience
-piano lessons
-piano piece: sonatina op 34 no 4 in F major

2. narrative premise
-2 friends (the left and right hand)
-journey though the path of black and white made of ivory
-roads that they will take are named measures, systems, and movements

3. treatment
-if i can pull it off, i'll try to make it a comedy
-but i'm sure that the play will definitely be a musical

4. title
- together in sonata op 34 no 4 in F major

5. rationale (why the story?)
-making a story about a piano piece would help me feel each crescendo and decrescendo, piano and forte, each dotted half note or sixteenth note. so that i won't have to play by the book, i would be the notes and play them by heart. (yeahyeah... drama.. hehe.. but true)

6. statement
-a writer writes a story with the use of words, and a composer with notes.

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"u" na may umalaut.

>> Saturday, November 27, 2004

edlyn, cerz and i headed to eastwood last night for the staging of subtext of sir niel. it was held in city walk 2 and there was no entrance fee so we decided to check it out.

mom and dad came with us because they were the ones who provided our transportation to eastwood. they also got to meet sir niel. dad was so impressed with sir that he wanted to go back on december 10 to watch another play. we also got free eastwood pens because we came in early. yey! pogi points!

after the play, i treated everyone in fazoli's. then the bonding time. mom told my whole eating history, when i ate carrot sticks and fruits for recess. that's what you get when you have friends and your parents on one table. what if mom showed them my baby pictures? horror! hahahaha...

lunch went by and we headed our separate ways. the three of us left mom and dad to have their "date" while we had our neoprint. i'll have the picture on the right as soon as edlyn scans them. we went around and bought some stuff in the tiangge. we kept on walking and stumbled before a bookstore. of course, as creative writers, we went in. oh boy, we found a lot of books. a shelf of philo books (even when we were having fun, philo was following and haunting us), non fiction books (haay.. informative essay, anyone?), children's books, and journals. i spent my money for dinner and in the tiangge that i could not buy a book. i just promised myself that i would return there and buy the book cerz showed me... titled naomi. hehe.

i sure did have a fun time, so did my parents. we're going back. i promise.

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tibok ng puso mo

>> Friday, November 26, 2004

kagabi, nanood ako (kasama si ceres at si jihan) ng opening ng lam-ang sa rizal mini theater. kasama kasi doon si ina bilang isang tandang.

nagbukas ang dula sa isang parusa sa mga estudyante dahil sa pagpapaskil ng mga poster sa kanilang paaralan. bilang parusa, inatasan sila ng prayle na gumanap sa kwento ni lam-ang. si lam-ang ay lumaki na walang kinikilalang ama. nalaman niya na napatay ang kanyang ama ng dahil sa mga igorot. nangako si lam-ang na gaganti siya para matahimik ang kaluluwa ni lam-ang. naglakbay siya patungo sa lugar ng mga igorot ang galit na pinatay ang mga igorot. doon nakilala si lam-ang bilang isang matapang na mandirigma. dahil sa kanyang katapangan, maraming babae ang nagnais na maging asawa ni lam-ang. subalit ang mata ni lam-ang ay para kay ines, isang kristyanong babae sa bayan. tumulak siya sa bayan para mabihag ang puso ni ines.

kahit na alam ng magulang ni ines na siya ay sikat dahil sa kanyang katapangan, nabigay sila ng kondisyon na dapat magpakita si lam-ang ng kayamanan para makita kung karapat-dapat na asawa si lam-ang para kay ines. hindi nagpatalo si lam-ang, at binigyan na maraming ginto at salapi ang pamilya. natuloy ang kasal ni ines at lam-ang kahit hindi kristyano ang ating bidang lalaki.

nang magtagal, natakot ang mga magulang ni ines dahil sumisikat si lam-ang. inisip nila na baka lumaki ang ulo ni lam-ang at magprisinta na maging pinuno ng bayan. o palitan ang kanilang kristo bilang si lam-ang. nag-plano sila na papuntahin si lam-ang sa disyerto ng 40 na araw para mag-fast (nye, hindi ko alam tagalog ng fast) at tumulak sa tubigan para kunin ang rarang. mapapatunayan dito ang tapang ni lam-ang at masasabing siya ay karapat-dapat na maging pinuno.

hindi pumayag si ines na umalis si lam-ang. natakot siya para sa buhay at kaluluwa ng kanyang asawa ngunit umalis parin si lam-ang. nangako siya na babalik siya at kung may mangyari mang masama ay magpapadala siya ng kulog at kidlat bilang senyales. sinabi ni ines na tumawag lamang sa diyos para sa kalakasan. hindi pinakinggan ni lam-ang si ines.

habang nasa disyerto si lam-ang, ang prayle na nagkukwento ng istorya ay naging isang ahas at pilit na sabihin kay lam-ang na ang pagpalagi niya sa disyerto ay maglilinis sa mga kasalanan ni lam-ang.

pagdating ni lam-ang sa karagatan, nakasalubong niya ang pating. binisita siya ng kaluluwa ng kanyang tatay at binigyan ng katapangan. kinalaban ni lam-ang ang pating subalit siya ay kinain nito.

ang pagkulog at pagkidlat ay ang paghudyat ng pagtangis ni ines dahil naalala niya ang sinabi ni lam-ang ulok sa panahon. ikinagalak naman ng kanyang mga magulang dahil sa wakas ay magkakaroon na ng bagong asawa si ines na isang kristyano at mayroong dugong kastila.

hindi diyan nagtatapos ang kuwento. kung inakala ng prayle na naturuan ang kanyang istudyante ng aral, iniba ni dela cruz (isang istudyante) ang huling bahagi ng kuwento. pinagpipilitan kasi ng prayle na karapat-dapat lang mamatay si lam-ang dahil hindi siya naniniwala sa diyos. sinabi ni dela cruz kay ines na ikuwento ang istorya sa kanyang pananaw at hanapin si lam-ang.

sa paghahanap ni ines kay lam-ang, natagpuan niya ang mga buto ng kanyang kasintahan. binalot niya ito sa kanyang "shawl" at umiyak papaalis.

ilang minuto pagkatapos iproklama ng kanyang ama na puwede na uling ligawan si ines, nagulat ang lahat nang ang sumagot ay si lam-ang kasama si dela cruz na nag-iba sa kwento ni lam-ang. nagkasama uli si lam-ang at si ines. si lam-ang ay ginawang lam-ang.

===========================================

manood kayo ng lam-ang sa rizal mini theater. ito ay magpapatuloy hanggang sa ika-18 ng disyembre. isa siyang "musical" at ang isa sa pinakamagandang produksyon na napanood ko mula sa tanghalang ateneo. kahit isa siyang "low-budget" na dula, dito makikita kung gaano nagamit ang imahinasyon para mapaganda ng husto ang istorya ni lam-ang. kung hindi ko sasabihin na "low-budget" ang lam-ang, hindi mo aakalain na minadali nila itong lahat dahil sa ganda ng produksyon at sa mga damit ng mga aktor. magaling.

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directing and lessons

>> Wednesday, November 24, 2004

i asked cerz if she can be the director for the play in january. she gladly accepted... and she was so excited about going back to the "stress" of directing that we spent a whole hour discussing the blocking and other stuff of the play. we even had a run-through with my lines and changed some words to make the play casual. tomorrow, we'll be rehearsing in the FA theater (just me and cerz) for the blocking and my acting. i badly need help in acting.

before going home, i passed by up abelardo to enroll in the up extension. i had mixed emotions while i was filling up the application form for piano lessons. i was excited to return to piano lessons, i sure do missed lessons, stress, and the recitals. but i was hesitant to enroll because it will be my first time to enroll in up. i had my lessons from my grade school teacher for 6 years and i'm already used to her style of teaching. she's my mentor in piano, and she was one with my excitemeny when she learned that i enrolled in up. my teacher will be a male... mr. asuncion (whoever-he-may-be) and i hope he won't be a terror teacher (like my high school piano teacher.. another reason why i stopped playing the piano after my 7th year). i'm starting next week wednesday, 330-4pm. i can't wait.

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the four witches of non fiction

>> Tuesday, November 23, 2004

ms. morrible announces that there will be no non fiction class on thursday.

[boq] sorry ma'am, for the glee on my face. it can't help it... happiness happens when all your dreams come true.

[red] hands touch, eyes meet... sudden silence, sidden heat. hearts leap in a giddy whirl.

[blue] ... he could be that boy, but i'm not that girl.

[edz] ifi can only jump up and down, dance, and clap my hands... i will. god, what is this... a lit class?!?

[blue] apparently, she thinks itis (how i hate to go and leave you lonely...)

[boq] le sigh... pointless class of the year award goes to...

[red] and it's an anonymous... mali pa. hindi na gumagana ang utak ko. unanimous decision.. jace, alam mo ba pinagbasa ako ni sir kanina ng italian text ng inferno? (loathing, undadulterated loathing... for this class, the readings, the lesson.. let's just say.. i loathe it all!)

[boq] astig! no yung word? maraming italian words sa angels and demons.. :)

[blue] mi piace l'italia. hehe. i loathe this class too. i think it's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes, and leap. it's time to try defying gravity (by flying away from this class as fast as possible)

[edz] no one mourns the.. boredom of this class! wooohh.. padala natin sa oz. or pabagsakan natin ng bahay si ma'am.

[blue] haha. wicked witch of the east pala siya (pwede rin)

[red] as in the original version ng inferno. yung book ko kasi ng inferno may italian version at english version. haha.. tayo pa yata yung wicked witches of non fiction workshop. (we mourn for this class.. bad news!)

[blue] wicked witch, aye! maybe i really am... (this weird quirk i've tried to supress or hide is a talent that could hlep me meet the wicked... if i make good)

[edz] can we zap her down? do some spell that will make her think every tth "i will let the class write today. i will let them burn all their handouts in a big bonfire with roasted hotdogs for free."

[boq] haha. :) let's throw water on her! i hear her soul is so unclean, pure water can melt her! please! someone go and melt her!

[red] elekha namen namen ah tum ah tum elekha namen... elekha namen namen ah tum ah tum elekha... elekha!

[blue] i hope all your plans work. and there isn't any trapdorr under her chair.

[edz] she'd probably just end up looking like a drowned rat.

[boq] hey! i resent that! rats are cute. ;p

[red] haha... boq turns to ron. wheehhe... we can do better without her. i have already written 1 entry in my journal which is equal to 1 non fiction essay. i'm starting a new one at hindi pa yo counted for our non fic grade. sheesh. yung diniscuss natin, 3 meetings na, pero kay delgado 30 mins lang.

[boq] totoo. oo nga pala. i'm going to be a graphic designer for a website.

[blue] congrats to jace. =) haay, nade-drain na yung energy ko dito for a much better class later.

[edz] the hills are alive with the sound of music! ala lang.. bored lang. so dati, history class. ngayon, human anatomy class..

[blue] aw raw. human anatomy class is way better than this.

[boq] true. rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top. when the wind blows the cradle will rock...

[red] eh ate... yung business trip ng tito ng friend ko. pwede kami maging graphic designer dun pagkagraduate namin. [abi] saan? [nica] sa manila.. hehe.. i would just say, boring yung joe's brain. sama ko ba?

[boq] hindi masamang magsabi ng totoo. seriously, ang morbid niya.

[edz] have i ever told you that i hated informative essays most of all in brion's class? look, dear, if i wanted a rundown of the brain's functions, i can just ask my sister.

[blue] asteeg si ina. fall in new york! ;) ok din si jace, fall sa taiwan. hehe. reminds me of that winona ryder and richard gere movie.

[boq] hahah! basta weird yon. :)

[red] ako fall sa bahay. araw-araw nahuhulog dahon ng mga puno namin. wahihi. 406 na. 15 mins to go... groan. tagal pa. pwede bang umalis na tayo dito para makatulog na ako sa lib. reflecting? yung autumn article? di ko nga tinapos eh...

[boq] nauseating...

[blue] countdown: 10 mins na lang! =) mas ok pala yung fall ni yumi eh. "in the easter part of china... easter.. where's easter? sympre nasa east!"

[edz] 6 mins! move, big hand, move!

[boq] the east is located to the west of california?

[red] in nessa's territory! 3 mins.

[boq] nessa? uh, nesa? i've got something to confess a reason why, well, why i asked you here tonight.

[blue] 2 mins!!

-end of discussion-

wait for a new one next tuesday....

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noche buena atbp.

hindi ko maisip-isip hanggang ngayon na nakamemorya ako ng isang dula. alam ko na ang mga linya ko para sa parada sa enero. pero may iba pa akong linya na nabubulol ako o nakakalimutan. pero ang galing, kaya ko pala. sana hindi siya mawala sa utak ko hanggang enero.

===================================

i don't feel like writing in tagalog. actually, i really have nothing to say. i just want to post an entry for today. i know i want to say something, but what? oh, ok. i'll just talk about my drama class yesterday.

===================================

we had a class activity on how to make a story. he drew two characters on the board, a girl (who looked like a mermaid) and a boy. we were tasked to give characteristics, may it be silly or embarrassing. after that, we came up with reasons on why they had those characteristics. for example, the boy had no hair because he had cancer. they did not have any sense whatsoever.

here came the fun part.

we began to connect the reasons we gave earlier to make a story. it was funny and they were going nowhere. if you would hear it, the story was so corny. but we were laughing the whole time. at the end of the activity, we were able to re-invent the history of starbucks and how the logo came to be.

that's how it is with writing. silly as it may seem, writing is not about "my idea's dumb" or "no one will like it". writers have to go through those kinds of emotional stuff. but what keeps them from jumping off the roof of burgundy is that the passion to write. the wanting to write. there will be a lot of stuff that writers would write and regret it in the end, but so what? there will come a time that a writer will mature and know his style in writing.

"paano ka matututo mag bisikleta? eh di sa pagbibisikleta."

no one makes it the first time. you just have to write and write and write and write and write. no matter what. you don't write for the palanca or the teacher, you write because it is your mind who does the talking. no one will ever put your thoughts on paper except for yourself.

say it with me.

i want to write...

i want to write...

I want to write...

I Want to write...

I WAnt to write...

I WANt to write...

I WANT to write...

I WANT TO write...

I WANT TO WRITE!!!





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link link link

>> Monday, November 22, 2004

wicked libretto


FOR GOOD (Track 18)

ELPHABA
I'm limited:
Just look at me - I'm limited
And just look at you -
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
(spoken) For both of us
(sung) Now it's up to you:

GLINDA
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you:

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

ELPHABA
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you:

GLINDA
Because I knew you:

BOTH
I have been changed for good

ELPHABA
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

GLINDA
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

BOTH
And none of it seems to matter anymore

GLINDA
Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun

ELPHABA
Like a ship blown off it's mooring by a wind off the sea

GLINDA
A stream that meets a boulder

ELPHABA
Like a seed dropped by a sky bird in the wood

GLINDA
Half way through the wood

BOTH
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better?

GLINDA
And because I knew you:
ELPHABA
Because I knew you:

BOTH
Because I knew you:
I have been changed for good.


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sunday nothings

>> Sunday, November 21, 2004

after the 1030 service at crossroad, i met up with keith. he gave me a livestrong band. it's some symbolism that signifies that even if you feel hopeless and feel like giving up, just remember lance armstrong. he's the all-time champion of the tour de france and he has battled through cancer. the doctors thought that he would never live because the cancer has already spread throughout his body, from his bones to his brain. but lance pushed his body to whatever limit it could take and won the tour de france - a famous cycling race - even holding that title for many years. everyone wanted that yellow band around his or her wrist. it's similar to the baller's id but instead of the word baller inscripted on the band, the word livestrong is there. i wasn't expecting to have one, but keith gave me one this morning. yehey. thanks kit. yar the best.

===================================

my mom and i visited crossroad's gym, planet infinity. they had a soft opening last friday and they're starting the 24-hour gym tomorrow (i think). when the lap pool's constructed, i want to enroll in planet and swim. i have fallen in love with swimming the first time i learned how to float and i want to continue swimming. i stopped doing laps when i was in 4th year high school and i have never trained that hard ever since. i just hope i have the money and the time to go crossroad and train.

==================================

i will really kill jace. i tried to memorize my script, but everytime i am to speak out my lines, i stop after a sentence and start singing the wicked soundtrack. hehe. this is what you call LSS. right now, as i am typing each letters on my blog, i am listening to the cd. yehey! another wicked session tomorrow with jace and jihan. join the fun!

but i would like to thank jace for my blog heading. it's better than the one i made in paint. hehe.

=================================

i need something to write in my drama journal besides contemplating on csi and connecting it to philo. yikes.

dancing through life!!!

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non fic boredom strikes again

>> Saturday, November 20, 2004

this is our second paper chat in non fiction. this would really make a good play.

[fiyero] no one mourns the wicked!

[elphaba] good news!!... pero bad news tayo ngayon sa non fiction.

[fiyero] tila nga.

[asaka] gusto ko na nga kaninang mag-cut

[cantina girl] sama ako, edlyn.

[fiyero] sabi na sa'yo, cantina girl, cut na dapat tayo.

[elphaba] kung di tayo nag-cut ed di tyayo nag-uusap ngayon. hihi. asteegin yung santa-santita. ngayon ko lang na-realize, magaling na actor pala si jericho rosales... and oz's fav'rite team.. the wizard and i!

[fiyero] wala kong pera para manood, next week siguro. and i just need a vision almost like a prophecy...

[cantina girl] sige, i'll watch. ako pa, 'pag movie. nilaban ba yon sa mmff? sa december ang mmff eh.

[asaka] kinikilabutan pa rin talaga ako sa jericho-angelica tandem haha

[cantina girl] eh crush nga ng mommy ko si jericho eh... mas kinikilabutan ako dun.

[fiyero] hindi siya lalaban. pero i'd rather not comment before i watch.

[elphaba] sabi ni ina mas malaki kita pag di kasama sa mmff :) bagay nga yung role nila angelica at jericho sa movie. saka hindi "kadiri" yung love scene nila. may symbolism ekek pa nga eh. andon si noel rayos aka dog ni ina sa directing. :)

[fiyero] haha... well. pero, mas may hype ang mmff. yip! yip! yip! oo nga pala, yumi, makabalik na si ivano from italy.

[cantina girl] who's ivano?

[asaka] yeah, who's ivano? akh! uhaw na 'ko! gonna go for coke.

[fiyero] nuod tayo spider-man 2 kina edlyn, nov 26. ;)

[elphaba] talaga? pano mo nalaman? kamusta kaya trip niya? ang saya! 1 year? asteeg!

[fiyero] nakita ko siya kahapon. nuod tayo ha? s-m2, no26, edlyn's place.

[asaka] jace, sa bahay ni edlyn? sige! edlyn, ok lang ba? hehe

[fiyero] haha! :)

[elphaba] nako... magpaalam muna kay eldyn! edlyn, punta kami! haha.. paalam? statement yon! wait lang, bakit # 26? slow ko...

[fiyero] thanks, edlyn! ;) nov 26. :)

[cantina girl] i'd have to take a rain check. have to watch my sister's play on the 26th. ;( enjoy nalang kayo :)

[asaka] hmmm.. ba't nov 26, friday uh diba? why not monday.. before drama niyo?

[fiyero] pwede rin.. :)

[elphaba] pwede rin. eh wala kasi kaming gagawin sa 26 bago manood ng subtext. gusto mo sumama? libre siya. sa eastwood. nood kayo ng lam-ang! opening sa 25 :)

[asaka] ,ay sinabi sa amin theo teacher namin. kasi, ang dami nang mondays and fridays na no classes. gagawin nila, sa nov 25 (thurs) at dec (7) mwf sched instead of tth sched. ala lang.. walang non fiction *evil*

[cantina girl] oh happy days... ;)

[boq] yey! so nov 22 tayo spider-man 2? or big fish?

[elphaba] monday sched ang ipapalit sa mga dates na binaggit ni edders. kaso may philo. 2 sides of a coin. good news and bad news. hehe. big fish nalang. di ko pa yon napapanood eh. :)

[boq] pero drama!!

[cantina girl] uy, jace, yung dvd!!

[asaka] haha.. si 3 days in a row anf philo. dunno whether matutuwa ako o magluluksa ako. what's big fish? anyway, about subtext, papaalam ako. tungkol san ba yon? details!

[cantina girl] 10 minutes nalang! ;D

[boq] wahaha.. oo nga. maganda big fish. drama!! "u" na may umlaut.

[elphaba] 3 acts. 2 tungkolsa text messaging. 1 tungkol sa dalawang matanda and a love letter. script palang mukha nang masaya. wala kang "u" na may umlaut sa cellphone mo? (sabay labas yung kinakausap ng palm pilot) hello, bulok na cel tapos may palm pilot? kakaiba ito!

[boq] well, mas may importance ang palm pilot sa isang business executive.

[cantina gurl] up nag-enjoy ako dun sa subtext! kakakilig. haha. FIVE MINUTES NALANG! :D

[asaka] so gaano katagal yon? what time at kailan uli? fazoli's tayo after! hehe.. or before.. kung papayagan ako, pwede maki-transpo?

*bell rings*

[boq] to be continued.

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feeling awards night

i just feel like thanking people today. maybe it's because of the cool, rainy weather for this morning.

i would like to thank...

...jihan and billy, for helping me memorize my lines last night for the fine arts festival. billy, you would make a good wife.. i mean husband... for "andrea". jihan, hindi ka rin galit noh? *wink*

...jihan again, for the mini concert we had in gonzaga. the waiting area in gonzaga was enough for us to think it is the stage of wicked. "popular. you're gonna be pop-yu-u-ler."

...jace, for the sound track of wicked, that left me and jihan singing the songs during the acp show.

...edlyn, for the never ending tong-its and pusoy dos in the covered courts.

...cerz, for the screams and jokes during our card games last night... "oh. di nA PWEDE YAN!!!"

...jay, for the irony you showed while drinking a pepsi and wearing a coca cola cap.

...cathy, for never letting me win in power pusoy. babawi din ako!

...liezl, for looking if ate alma has already photocopied my philo handouts.

...sir de jesus. for... for... i dunno.

...ina babes, for the text yesterday morning. hehehe.

...keith aka yayay. for raising my bill from 200-300 in a week. magaling ka rin noh? sun na kasi! wala nang text for this week and until next week.

...ichie, for promising me her grad pic. yey!

...elphaba, glinda (it's gAlinda), fiyero, boq (oh bIq, would you do that for me?), nessa, the wizard, morrible, dr. dillamond and the rest of the wicked cast, hope to see you on the actual stage. i bet i'll be singing along when i watch you guys on stage. haha, as if tunay na tao!

...and finally, for acp. first, for ruining my corregidor trip. and second, for the wonderful impromptu show by spit (you're the best guys. galing ng beauty contest niyo saka ng mga manghuhula niyo!), and for the bands.

that's it. thank you.

*music*

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anong santa? baka santasantita!

>> Wednesday, November 17, 2004

it's not your typical filipino movie. it's one heck of a movie.

what's your typical filipino movie? a love scene that shows the whole process. a shoot-out that involves a conversation. (man 1: papatayin na kita! man 2: aahh.. nabaril ako! *you get my point?*) an over-to-the-max drama. (walangya ka! then two women grabs each other's hair and have a cat fight for 5 minutes or more)

this is the first filipino movie that i have seen that did not do anything i mentioned above. it focused on the praying theme, when malen does not pray from the heart yet her prayers come true, and the beliefs of the devotees.

when malen and mike was about to have their intimate scene, they did not go to the direct thing. malen pauses and turns the images and faces them in a different direction. she knows that somehow, God is watching her sin or whatever. the writer and the director did not leave that simple detail behind. and the love scene? no yucky part. only mike's back was shown and his tatoo said everything. and it was short.

"baket pa kinakailangang magpadasal eh pwede naman ideretso sa Diyos?"

"anong napapala nila doon?"

a lot of questions that left me thinking. there a lot more, but my mind cannot store the lines.

there are a lot of scenes that almost had no cuts. it was spontaneous, the actors said their lines on one camera angle. cool. long camera shots and long lines to say. and they had to keep the emotions so flowing for a long time.

you also see the change in malen's attitude. she sacrificed her love for mike to be able to be with the people and help them with their problems. the transformation tells us that God can change people no matter how dirty your past was. "pray from your heart" that is what matters, according to fr. toni (winner! hehe...) you see the difference as malen elevates her status from a shallow person like mike to a "saint" when mike asks malen to bring back his child to life. malen steps up to the altar and leaves mike on the ground.

"ang Diyos ang nagsasabi kung ano ang dapat mangyari. hindi ako santa."

"pero malakas ka sa kanya!"

i love the movie. i hope all movies would be like that kind. not the cheezy love and corny stories.

i want to say more but i'm lazy to think right now. just watch it. and see the CLEAR difference from other filipino films.

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non-fiction

>> Tuesday, November 16, 2004

due to extreme boredom in non-fiction we were able to make a script.

*yumi gets a sheet of yellow pad from her bag and starts writing*

[yumi] wanna do something besides sitting here? tayo pa yung masama at hindi tayo nagbasa. sheesh.

[jason] nasa italy na nga yung utak ko eh. :( ciao bella!

[yumi] ako magmememorize nalang. at least i'm doing something... pag naglalakad ka diba gumagana din utak mo, kahit involuntary?

[jason] *sigh* yep, involuntary nervous ekek. i was never good with biology. pabasa ng script! :) nakakantok itong introduction...

[yumi] sureness... pass ke jihan. hi there!

[jiheyn] are we bored or are we bored? kanina nag eye-to-eye kami ni ma'am. scary. galit na yata. hihihi.

[yumi] we ARE bored. sheesh. kinuha nung girl yung kaisa-isang copy ng language of the streets.

[jason] grrr... argh. >:s

[jiheyn] ow well. patayin. joke. sila na lang mag-usap ni ma'am.

[jason] oo nga. >:s

[yumi] kakausapin ko si ma'am. sasabihin ko na mag-iwan siya ng copy sa reserve. para naman kahit papano eh maka-relate tayo sa sinasabi niya.

[jason] at sabihin niya kung nasa reserve na. >:s

[jiheyn] syempre, yellow pad pa talaga pinagpapasahan natin.

[jason] para kitang-kita.

[yumi] para malaki. sheeks man. di kasi malinaw yung mga pinagsasabi nya eh. boberts.

[jason] I KNOW! *roll eyes*

[jiheyn] haha. i can't even make out the words she's saying.

[yumi] oh gosh. this is crazy. jihan's vandalizing! wahaha...

[jason] gusto ko na umuwi. :(

[jiheyn] eheh.. things you do when you're bored. magkakaliwete muna ako.

[edz] ano ba pinag-usapan kanina? di ako nakikinig eh. zome out. hehehe.

[ina] ewan. ang sakit na ng tiyan ko. gust ko nang umutot. hehe. :)

[jiheyn] ina, maawa ka...

[jason] oo nga ina. kami yung nasa likod mo...

[yumi] inaaaa.. be nice to others. wahaha.. pero pwede narin. para dismissed kagad! wahaha. jokeez lang ina beybs.

[jason] que se hoda! :)

[jiheyn] yes, very informative.

[edz] jace, curious to death or bored to death?

[ina] tinutubuan na kasi ng kuliti tenga ni jace kaka pakinig. prrrt. pag may naamoy kayong killer ako na iyon. :)

[edz] nud ka sa phil-am theater... ganda ng accoustic. rinig ng lahat utot mo.... hehehe.

[jiheyn] oh man, gutom pa naman ako. tapos utot pinag-uusapan. ina, give a warning, ok? i don't feel well eh. :p

[jason] bored to death.

[yumi] nyahahaha... 2 mins to time! ina. magtiis ka. 2 mins nalang. be nice.

that's it. so what do you think? that's what we can do when we're bored. group work! hahaha...

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this post was supposed to be put up yesterday

i don't know what happened to blogger and i wasn't able to post my yesterday's entry. so here it goes...

there are two sides of a coin. the heads, and the tails. the good news and the bad news. the up and the down. facing the sky or the ground.

my day today has two faces. i'm happy that i don't have philo for today. last week, i was called twice. twice. for 2 consecutive meetings. i was prepared with the first time sir called me. i read the reading days before the lesson and an hour before the class started. however, i didn't read the article again last friday. but i saw it coming. i knew he would call me, yet i still did not read. that's why i was a big fat sign that said "bingo!" when sir called me last friday. what the heck. that was always the scenario whenever i entered the classroom for philo. there was always a percentage that i would be called. that's why i always had to come to class prepared. but i didn't do that last friday. good shot, i was called. bingo.

i'm taking a break from my philo handouts. i'm reading this for the nth time this semester and i still cannot understand it by heart. yes, i can get what the author was pointing out, but once sir asks a question, it seems that everything i read is thrown out of the classroom and straight into the non-biodegradable trash can. so much for reading. reading the handouts gives me a sense of security that i read the handouts and i'm 50% prepared to be called. but once i'm on the hotline and i'm standing infront of his face, i always guess and stammer for words. all i can do is smile. i don't know why, but i do. i'm trying a new style of studying, i say aloud those statements that i understand so that in case he calls me again on wednesday, i'm "kinda" prepared. hehehe.

that's why i'm happy today. i don't have philo.

the other side of the coin is that i don't have my film and design class and my drama. yep, i was able to finish my paper last night while watching band of brothers (a 10-part miniseries on war) and i'm prepared to give it away on wednesday. i'm just going to cash out a hundred or more because of the printing. we haven't bought a colored ink cartridge for our printer so i'm stuck with a dot-matrix printer that does not shell out colored ink. i'm paying the computer lab for printing my paper. i want to watch a new movie and analyze it. it has become my habit to look at the directing and listen to the script everytime i watch a movie. i rarely watch for just the sheer fact of enjoying it. after taking this class and hanging out with two directors (cerz and ina.. whee!) i became a critique myself. i began to study the style of the director on how he cuts shots and taking a different view to capture the emotions. i never enjoy watching movies. i learn from them. nyeeee. learning while enjoying a movie. hahahaha.

drama class. i can't wait to write a real play. i still can't think of a topic to write about. i guess i need tips from sir. i read almost all of sir niel's plays to get an idea on how a play would go. i browsed through jace, jihan, monette, and ana's plays 2 semesters ago. simple stories yet made into a play. i wish i could write. watching plays has been my passion since i was months old. my mom told me that i was only 2 months old when i watched my first play. i usually was a naughty kid when i was small but once i sat down in a theater to watch a play, i never squirmed in my seat. i guess i loved plays even when i was a kid. well, up to now. i would stay glued to my seat everytime i watch a play, may it be a one-act play from last semester's directing class, or an extravagant play like miss saigon or little mermaid. i have always wished to be part of a play, even if i just walk from one end of the stage to the other. hehehe. too bad we don't have drama today. but we'll be watching subtext in eastwood for sure. yeah.

ok. i have to get back to my philo. my mom's finished with the phone. i can connect to the internet again. the absurd is really nauseating. agree?

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unang ensayo

>> Friday, November 12, 2004

kaninang 630 (bahala ka na tagalugin ang 630... hehe), unang ensayo ko sa palabas ni dana para sa fine arts festival. binigay na sa amin ang script at binasa ko siya kasama ng iba pang mga aktres.

11 na pahina. buti nalang hindi masyadong mahahaba ang mga linya ko. marami, pero maiikli. mas madaling kabisaduhin pag maikli. ok lang sa akin ang marami, wag lang mahaba.

dapat nga 530 ang simula ng ensayo. kaso napadpad ako ng sm north at sa cinema 2. 4 pm, nasa loob ako ng sinehan at nakikipagtawanan kasama ang bata at matanda sa palabas na the incredibles. hindi ako magkkwento dahil baka mabatukan ako ng mga taong hindi pa napapanood ang sine. pero eto lang masasabi ko. ang ganda ng buhok ng kapatid ni dash. violet yung pangalan niya diba? nakalimutan ko na. ulyanin na yata ako. maganda ang palabas. nakakatuwa. sobrang sulit ang bayad. sana may ganon dito sa pilipinas. para talsik kaagad ang abu sayaff. tapos!

lumabas ako ng 6pm sa sm at dali-daling humarurot pabalik ng ateneo. buti nalang na-late din si dana (ang sumulat ng dula) at yung ibang mga aktres. pero ako parin ang pinakahuling dumating. wais. kasi ang traffic. nanisi pa. hehe. pero buti nalang may naabutan ako sa ensayo. nagkabulol-bulol ako sa kakabasa ng tagalog. nakakbaliw. pero masaya. nag-analyze pa nga kami ng mga karakter at mga intensyon ng dula. nakakatuwa. maganda ang dula, nakakabaliw sa tagalog. kaya ko ito. ika nga ni ana, "go for the gold!"

pero ang nakakakaba eh sa enero na ang fine arts festival. 2 buwan para kabisaduhin ang linya ko. napakarami. sana maalala ko. sana talaga. binabasa ko na nga ngayon para kahit papano, pag nagensayo uli kami sa martes, eh hindi na ako magkakabulol sa tagalog ko. konting tulak pa sa pageensayo, makakabisado ko rin ito. tulong.. sino man dyan.. hehehe..

nakakatuwa nga ang parte ko. ako si nica sa dula. tamang-tama, fine arts student siya. parang ako. pero wala akong 2 kapatid na babae. alam niyo naman, nagiisa ako sa mundo. nakakarelate ako dahil dinidiktahan si nica sa kanyang kurso. pero hindi niya sinabi sa kanyang pinakamatandang ate at tatay na lumipat siya sa fine arts. surprise baga. sa parte ko naman, pinipilit ako ng tito ko na mag duktor ako para may susunod sa yapak nya at kukuha ng klinik nya pagkatapos ko ng kolehiyo. pero hindi ko iyon sinunod. pinsan ko nalang ang nag duktor habang ako ay nag fine arts. pero masaya ako sa kurso ko.

memorize ko na yung unang linya ko..

"andito na ako! wala po ba kayong kasama?"

(mamano sa tatay)

yehey.

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something new

>> Thursday, November 11, 2004

yesterday, we finished watching "the girl with a pearl earring" for film and design. i realized how beautiful the film was made when the finished product was shown. there were a lot of symbolisms involved. and there is really a real vermeer.. hahaha.. silly me.


the girl with pearl earring from mystudios.com

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jealousy

>> Wednesday, November 10, 2004

last night, we attended a party of an 80-year old grandmother. my mother were friends with one of her daughters and we were already somewhat part of the family. that's why we were invited. 90% of the people in the up bahay kalinaw were the celebrant's relatives (she has 8 sisters and 10 children. so imagine how many grandchildren she has and how many children her sisters have.) it was a sight to see everyone so happy and so close with each other that tears began to form in my eyes. i felt jealous.

i have never really felt the love of a grandparent. my mother's parents are now both in heaven and my father's parents are separated.

when mom would tell stories on how her father would give money to his children or would tickle them everytime he would come home from work, i always wished that he lived long enough so that i would also feel that kind of joy. he died when mom was in college and i never got the chance to meet my grandfather. her mother died last year. mommy (that's what we called grandma) was there when i was small so i felt a glimpse of her love for her grandchildren. i know that i'm one of the fortunate grandchildren who experienced her "pompom" game whenever we would visit her. when she would catch me or my cousins lying on the couch, she would grab my feet with one hand, tap them with the other hand while saying "pompompom...". she would release them suddenly then shower me with tickles. but of course, time passed, i grew older, she grew weaker, and the games stopped. when i longed for a hug or kiss from her, she was there in her room staring outside the window or on her breakfast plate lying there for hours and hours. i would instead give her the hug and kiss and smell the powdery scent of a grandmother. but now that she's gone, the only memory of her are pictures and her room which was left untouched since she died. sometimes i would like to sleep there in her room but my tita would come marching down the room and screaming, "wag ka dyan hihiga! magagalit si mommy!" yeah right, mommy won't get mad. she never gets mad at her grandchildren. that's how she loves us. but i can't say that. i just stand up and leave the room.

my father's parents are separated. and i can't get any decent stories about the world war two or whatever except how lousy each one is. when i visit my grandmother (my dad's mom) she would rant and rant about my grandfather not being a good husband, that he left her for another girl, etc. etc. i have listened to such stories since i was small. i'm tired of it already, but she doesn't seem to forget. when my aunt says that she has heard that story for the nth time, my grandmother would butt in and say, "ganyan ka naman. sige, kumampi ka sa tatay mo, iniwan..." and it will go back to the same topic. no use of fighting. the best way is to shut up. but when i visit my lolo in his office, he would say nothing but "kausapin niyo nga lola niyo. wala nalang ginawa kundi siraan ako. eh sira ulo din naman siya." same topic everytime. i just amuse myself by playing games in his computer.

seeing the grandchildren close to their lola last night made me want to shout and say, "why wasn't i blessed with grandparents like them?" the grandchildren prepared presentations for their lola. no child was shy, every one participated and sang a song. each. no duets, no quartets, everyone did their solo acts.

during christmasses, the house in makati (that's were my father's side would meet up during christmas) is always quiet. my lolo would lock himself in his room while my grandmother would rant and rant about him in the living room. what christmas spirit. no one from my cousins would sing or play the piano or say a poem. they would just sit there, staring at my grandmother walking around the room criticizing everything on earth.

i tried once to ask lola bibing to tell stories of her younger days. i would ask about world war 2 or something when she was in school. she would not listen to my request but still tell the story about my lolo. from then on, i never dared to ask again.

i tried that too with lolo seyo. he would just keep quiet and smile. he's not that sociable with his grandchildren. most of the time when he's with his grandchildren, he would just sit on the sofa, say our names with a smile and ask me to play the piano. once i sit on the the family piano in makati, he would stand up and leave. he forgets that he was the one who requested me to play. sometimes he stays, sometimes he doesn't. but everytime my lolo would play the piano, i would always watch him. i know where my musical ear came from. and i appreciate that. but i never clapped for him because he would be embarrassed. he might not play anymore.

one time i saw my lolo in jolibee quezon ave. when i kissed him on the cheek, i saw a smile flash from his face. it was one of those smiles that i wish that i would see often. his eyes lit as if he earned his first dollar on earth. i wish i had a camera. but that picture of his smiling face is still etched in my mind up to today.

i wish i had grandparents like the one last night. i wish i had participative cousins like the kids there. that's why whenever i go to parties or gatherings like that and when we are close to the oldies, i always savor the moment and feel like i'm part of the family.

enough. i don't want to cry.

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drama workshop

>> Monday, November 08, 2004

i had no choice but to take this class because the poetry seminar class that i was supposed to take mysteriously had no more slots left for any creative writing major. but after the first class today with sir niel de mesa, it wasn't so bad after all. i enjoyed it actually.

with his introduction, i saw in him the potential to understand a writer wannabe. an amateur writer like me. well, drama writer to be exact. he just wanted us to write because we would learn along the way, by reading plays and watching them. he told us that he didn't expect anything great before his class, but after.. the transformation in his classes.

but our class wasn't all that serious. he was a stand-up comedian. and i mean it. he IS a good imitator. tabla si cerz sa imitation niya ni sir badong. sir niel was the best. even sir b's style of walking, his way of speaking, his manners, facial expressions, absolutely everything about sir badong. one of the best. he's good man. even xander. who would even make time to observe the deparment's secretary? hahahahaha. it was a laugh trip in his class. i'm really glad i signed up for drama.

he had a lot of pick-up lines that i could not remember them all.

"what pick-up line would work for you, miss?"

sheesh. my tummy was aching from all the laughing moment's during his class. with all his jokes, we never realized that 3 hours had passed already. look how time flies when you are having fun. 1 hour in philo is so boring and long. but 1 hour in sir niel's class? bitin. it has to be 3 hours. i didn't matter for me that we would have quizzes every week and journal entries everyday. i was having fun. first day palang yan. i hope he won't run out of jokes.

too bad that we won't have drama class for 2 mondays because of ramadan and the bonifacio day (gma moved it to 29 so that it would be a 3-day "holiday").

on saturday, we're heading to kamuning to watch one of his plays. i can't wait. i hope it'll be funny. i know it will be. but there is a story behind it. i can't tell it here, we're not supposed to tell anything shared in class. it's confidential. daw. ehehe. respect the teacher. i'm a good girl. but i can tell his jokes. when i remember them. whee...

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salbahe ang brownout

nadrama na nga ako, ipopost ko na, biglang namatay ang kuryente. salbahe. kaya lahat ng drama ko, nawala. kaya uulitin ko nalang.

kagabi, nakagat ako ng langgam. hindi lang ito bastang-basta na kagad sa kung saan mang parte ng katawan na may balat. sa eyeball ako kinagat. tama ang narinig mo. sa eyeball. ang instrumento kung paano nakakakita ang mga tao. hindi ko alam kung saan nanggaling ang langgam na yon. tapos ayon kay ina, galit ang mga langgam sa tubig eh paano niya nagawang kagatin ang mata ko. ayun. may bukol yung mata ko. napansin nga ni ina na namumula pa siya. salbaheng langgam. mula ngayon, sinusumpa ko na lahat ng langgam sa mundo. bastos.

hindi ko na alam yung sinulat ko bago nawala yung kuryente. tinatamad narin ako mag-isip. manonood nalang ako ng sine.

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2004 evsem..... and food. whaha...

>> Sunday, November 07, 2004

while the block was in ek screaming their heads off, i was in the evaluation seminar of the 3yc. well, i thought it would be like the ordinary meeting, where we would plan about projects for next semester and the days to come. but i'm glad i went. it wasn't so bad after all.

no body was in the seclec 2 when i arrived. i was sure i was in the right classroom when david and kai entered. phew, there was somebody already in the room. one by one, coursereps started to fill the room. they were talking about the latest craze, the sun cell shift. it turned out that enrico was the one who supplied almost all sun sims to the core sanggu and other coursereps. it was funny because we were all at the same room, everyone with sun sims were using their phones (since they have a promo of 24/7 call and text unlimited) and they were talking to each other.

enrico: oi! 3-way tayo!
kai: sige, sige!! game!
hazel: sandali.. ano number mo.. dali!
joms: hazel, asan ka? di kita makita (on the phone)... helu, pwidi ba makipagkilala?

they were in different parts of the classroom, but their voices were audible enough even without the phones. it was a funny sight to see them taking to each other on the fone inside the classroom.

while we were having our evaluation on the different projects last semester (arg, help desk, and internals), i learned something new. someone commented on the spelling of received. then we had a discussion on which comes first or what. joms asked what was the correct spelling of weird. he even wrote wierd and weird on the board and asked which word was the correct one. jill said a statement that silenced our debate (which had no relation on our evaluation).

"i comes before e except after c. what a weird society."

weird and society were the exceptions in the i comes before e rule. cool. i knew about the i comes before e except after c. but the statement after the first was new to me. i learned something for the day. wheee!!

after lunch (yummy lasagna of aya!! wheee!!) we had an activity. it was called make a country. we were divided into groups, then we were tasked to make a country. we had to invent:
>a flag
>costume for inhabitants
>a government
>the name of our country and a capital
we had markers, crepe paper, bond paper, and crayons for our materials. and my very good groupmates made me a model for the costume part. very nice. i was clothed in green crepe paper with fringes at the bottom of the "shirt" and "skirt", a belt made of blue crepe paper, a shawl of red crepe paper, a red head band with a yellow circle on the top of the head band. the yellow circle signifies the sun, which was our god. the green signifies the country we lived in, a rainforest. red was the fire tree in the forest, and the blue was the main attraction of the country which is the rainfall. may earrings pa ako. asteeg. galing talaga ng mga fashion designer ng group namen (go dappy and enrico!) tama ba akong gawing barbie doll?

our country name was suncelluarstan. tamang-tama, kasama namin ang businessman ng sun cellular, at ang aming diyos ay ang araw. suncellarstan because everything (as in everything) falls under the sun. oh ha! bago yon. and the capital of our country is aaaah.. because since the main attraction is the waterfalls, and when you fall, there is nothing else to shout but aaaahhh.... nyork. wais.

while we were explaining our country, i had to model in front of the united nations committee, consisted of the sanggu core. they even asked me to dance a rain dance. impromptu. kakatawa. i won't do that again infront of my courserepmates. so embarrassing.

then the serious part came (which was wasn't still serious). we had our comments on the previous semester, our complaints, and other concerns. i brought up the problem of the creative writing peeps during the reg. about the closed classes because the sophomores got them and left us with nothing except for IS courses, which we didn't like. they said they will look into that and talk to the registrar so that next time the juniors and the seniors would come first in the registration. very good. we also talked about manong sungit in escaler. 50% of the discussion about him were full of jokes. everyone imitated manong sungit and we were laughing our stomachs out. whehehe... sana naman ok na yung mga microphones diba? (remember cerz? whehehe)

i had fun during the evsem. at least i got to know more of my coursereps since i wasn't able to attend meetings last semester due to my poetry class. i just hope meetings won't be during mondays again or else.... nooo... i still have monday late afternoon classes. sheesh.

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walang meron ang pagpipilosopiya

>> Friday, November 05, 2004

walang pilosopiya ngayon. ang saya.

andito kami ni edlyn sa computer lab. unang araw ko sa foyer. sana hindi ako mahilig uli sa pagiinternet dahil baka bumaba nanaman ang mga grado ko. mamaya pang 930 ang aming klase ke bernal kaya nagpapalipas oras kami dito sa foyer. masaya talaga ang libreng internet. at masaya din dahil maganda yung napunta sa akin na kompyuter.

kahapon, habang hinihintay ko ang klase ko sa great books, tumambay muna ako sa labas ng pubroom (lagi naman eh, pag walang ginagawa). nakatawag pansin ang isang papel na nakapaskil sa corkboard ng fine arts department kaya naisipan kong tingnan ito. aba, ito pala ay ang resulta ng mga nakapasa sa audition ng fine arts festival 2005. nagulat ako nang makita ko ang pangalan na nakapasa sa parte na nica, ang bunsong anak sa isang dula. naomi. ako yon. natawa ako at dali-dali kong tinext ang nanay ko. hindi ako makapaniwala na nakuha ko ang parte. kung nagbabasa ka ng blog ko, maaalala mo na sobrang kinakabahan ako nung binasa ko yung script. at wala akong kaalam-alam sa pag-arte. tapos biglang natanggap ako? asteeg. ang galing. sa lunes daw ang unang rehearsal (ano ba ang tagalog ng rehearsal.. pageensayo? hindi eh..) at hintayin ko daw ang mga text nila. hala. paano ito, sana makayanan ko ang bago kong pakulo. ang pagaarte.

kahapon din ang unang araw ng pagkikita sa great books at sa non fiction workshop. mukha namang masaya ang great books, yun nga lang, mejo magastos dahil ikaw ang bibili ng mga libro. mas ok pang bumili nalang kaysa magpakopya sa library, dahil natutulungan mo ang tindahan kung saan mo nabili ang libro, ang sumulat nito (kahit siguro patay na yung iba sa kanila) at ang ekonomiya ng pilipinas. masyado nang maraming pirated na nangyayari. nyahaha. issue ito.

pero hindi ko nagustuhan ang non fiction workshop. unang-una, hindi alam ng guro kung ano ang pinagkaiba ng workshop at seminar. tapos binigyan pa kami ng takdang aralin na magresearch. bakit ka naman maghahanap sa library tungkol sa kasaysayan ng essay. hello, workshop ito pare. magsusulat tayo, hindi magbabsa ng kasaysayan. haay nako, mapapadpad ako nyan sa library (nyahaha.. nakakalimutan ko na ang tagalog ko!) dahil maghahanap ako ng mga libro na naglalaman ng mga essay na gawa ng pinoi at ang kasaysayan ng essay sa pilipinas. wais. ang galing. asteeg. kakainis. haay, buhay nga naman.

sige na. at iniwan na ako ni edlyn at ni jay. kukunin pa raw nila yung babsahin para sa pilosopiya sa lunes. nabasa ko na siya kagabi. boring. hindi ako nerd dahil marami pa akong kelangan basahin tulad ng isang buong libro ng beowulf na dapat tapos sa martes. galing noh? at oo nga pala, kaklase ko ang matalik na kaibigan ni edlyn na basketbolista sa great books. iisa lang yon, hindi mo na kailangang magisip. hahaha.

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i have been waiting a quarter of an eternity

>> Thursday, November 04, 2004

think about it. how will you know if it is a quarter of an eternity?

"a quarter of an eternity," he began. "it's not easy to say how long a quarter of an eternity last. first you have to find our how long a whole eternity lasts, then you have to divide it by four, but exactly how long a whole eternity lasts is very difficult to calculate. no matter which number you start with, eternity will last even longer. calculating whole of half eternities is a matter for heaven alone."

-caspar, the christmas mystery by jostien gaarder

first day of classes. i wasn't even excited about it. maybe because i saw the teacher who destroyed my grades last semester. i saw him, first thing in the morning. ina even said that she was already fed up in seeing the same classroom, and sitting in the same seat for the same teacher, the same subject, and the same classmates. the only difference is that it is another semester to start with. he made a lot of changes in the grading system. there will be only 1 long test and the percentage of the finals will increase to 40% of the final grade. this time, i will really study. i have a lot of time to study because i don't have a lot of breaks anymore. the only big break that i have is during mondays, form 1030-330pm. and i promise myself that i will not anymore have excessive internet sessions in school.

i really felt that yesterday was a long day, much like waiting for a quarter of an eternity. i was off by 1030 from sir bernal's class. i wanted to go home and sleep and wait for csi but i had to wait. mom and dad went to cap to get the check for my tuition fee. i stayed with cerz and darls and played tong-its while waiting for my parents to arrive. as soon as i got the check, i had to wait again for the cashier to open up. it was lunch time when i got the money. it took a lot of stories with darls before window 7 opened. we lined up at 1230, and the cashier opened at 1:05. 35 minutes. it seemed like an eternity waiting for it to open. my mouth was dry by the time that i was able to fully register myself. how long is an eternity anyway?

we still did not go home. mom, dad and i rushed to manila doctors to accompany my tito with his check-up with the doctor. another waiting session. we waited for our turn in the elevator. but we did not use it because the line was so long. we resorted to the stairs. so much for waiting. when we arrived at the 5th floor, we waited again for my tito's turn. wait, wait, wait. when his turn came up, mom went inside with my tito and i was left outside to do nothing. i wish i brought a book or something to do. but no, nothing else. so i just sat there and waited. good thing keith was my textmate at that time. he kept me awake. but my cellphone bill suffered. waiting is costly.

after the hospital, we met up with my 2 titas (the sisters of papa) in the family's makati house. i was dropped off at the house, while they drove off to another street to buy snacks. i waited again. at least a piano was there, it kept me busy. i played some songs and pieces while waiting for the rest of the gang to bring food. wait, wait, wait.

my waiting did not end there. sure, i was able to fill my stomach with yummy pancit (btw, the cook is from ken afford in katips... i'll try eating there before i graduate) but i had to wait again until the conversation ended. the oldies had a lot of stories to tell, gossips to share, and problems to solve. i was stuck with only two choices, to watch tv or to listen to them. spongebob was on the screen, so i resorted to laughing with patrick, spongebob, sandy, and the gang. but my other ear could hear my lola's ranting, my tita's new business, my mom's CAP problem, my dad's nods and shakes, my other tita's candle stuff. i could not concentrate with what i was watching. i just stared at the clock and watched the hands move from 5pm-630pm. waiting is really long. was it a quarter of an eternity already?

finally, after 10 million seconds of waiting, it was time to go home. but i still had to wait. one kilometer at a time until we reached home. it was traffic, it was night, it was dark. i just slept. i didn't want to wait with my eyes open.

tell me if when the quarter of the eternity will happen. so i know how long will i still wait till the end of eternity.

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so far

>> Tuesday, November 02, 2004

last week, mom gave me a piano piece that she found when she was cleaning our library... and guess what the title was? so far! here's the lyrics.. with the chords.

SO FAR
by sandi patti

c-g/b-am7-dm7-f/g

C F/C
so far it's been so good
C F/C G/B
so far, through all the joys and scars
Am Dm7 C/E F - F/G
you've won the battles in my heart
C F/C
i long for what you have in store
F/C G/B
another open door
Am Dm7 C/E F-G+
should i stay here or look for more

chorus
Am Am/G
so far, you've brought
FM7 Am/E Dm
so far, you've taught me so far
C Dm
that everything i need
C/E F-G+
you are
Am Am/G FM7
and now another turn to take
Am/E Dm
another choice to make
C Dm-F/G
i can't believe we've come
C
so far

C F/C C
you say the fight has just begun
F/C G/B
and yet the battle's won
Am Dm-C/E F-F/G
by trusting in your holy son
C F/C C
you know the plans you have for me
F/C G/B
i'm trying to believe
Am Dm C/E F-G+
but my eyes can't always see so far
(back to chorus)

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out of order for one week

wow, 1 week without any post. well, that's because my prepaid account went 0 when i was supposed to check my mail. i had a spare prepaid card in my drawer, but my mom was saving it for an "important" day (which she did not specify.. hehe) because of the promo. on the first log-in, i would be able to be online, unlimited use from 12 am-2pm. since i said i need to check my mail for sanggu reasons, she let me use it. and ok, i got 15 new messages from sanggu. waaahhhhwww....

tomorrow's the start of the second semester and i haven't paid for my tuition fee yet. my registration was last friday, and after my reg, we went straight to cap (my educational plan) to claim my check. when i was in first year, we would go there in the morning, then present my regform and assessment form. we would be able to get the check either in the afternoon or the morning after. but now, we had to wait at least a week to get the check. if i presented my regform last friday, i would get my check on the 5th of november. by that time, i would be on my 3rd day in school. my mom went crazy when she learned about it. she went straight to the branch manager and complained. i don't know how the conversation went inside the office, i was too busy watching the 3rd movie shown in the conference room (1st was mr deeds, the second was i-spy, and the third was elf.. that's how long we waited just to get the news that we would be getting our check a week after). i guess the manager took pity on my mom, and said that we would be able to get the check on the 3rd. i'll just pay the 200 fine for late registration and i'll tell all my teachers that i paid at a late date.

while i was waiting for my turn in cap, edlyn texted me. she was listening at a radio station at that time. she said that there were a lot of people complaining about cap and bouncing checks. i remembered that mom had a chit-chat with her seatmate. her son was in lasalle dasmarinas and when she presented the check, it bounced back. ohhh.. nooohhh... i just hope that my check won't bounce back. good thing that i can suffer with cap for only 3 sems more.

=====

so what did i do for the past week? i was able to download a screensaver before my account went zero. it's from www.corboard.com, it's a reminder screensaver that goes on when the computer is idle for 3 mins. you can customize it in any way you want it to look. here's how mine looks:



i patterned it with my bulletin board (the wall of my study table. btw, i don't want to face a blank wall when i'm studying so i made a bulletin board. my theme for this season... the universe) that's why there are stars in the side...

i'll talk about what happened last saturday and sunday next time...

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alone in a crossroad, waiting for a miracle.

>> Tuesday, October 26, 2004

so i'm all alone. finally. but not at home. aha... hehehe...

we left at 6 am in the morning to catch the 7 am deadline of the mmda. our car is banned from the street because of the number coding scheme. we were supposed to meet my tito in wendy's taft and accompany him to the hospital for his check-up. we parked our car at crossroad (our church building) and took the fx going to taft. so imagine us sitting in wendy's for 2 hours. but then, my dad's boss from crossroad called him and told him that there was an emergency meeting today at 10 am. i was given the option. to stay with my mom or go back to crossroad with my dad. i chose to go back to crossroad since i had something else to do.

when we arrived, the b-room was still closed so i stayed in the library. i took all the children's books from the shelf and started to read. i took down lines from the book for example's sake when i get to write in the future. i filled 2 pages of yellow pad (back to back) of excerpts and poems.

at the stroke of 12, i went up to the second floor to check if the b-room is already open. and it was. now, here i am, sitting on a stool, talking to chino, wil, and eloisa. the fee for using the internet here is expensive (1 peso per minute.. sheesh) but at least the internet here is soooopppeeerrr fast. lightning fast. compared to my pagong internet at home. hehehe. i'm willing to spend 60 pesos for this experience. hahaha. no worries, i have money in my wallet.


woah. i have 18 messages in my mail. all from the block. the yahoogroups is alive!

===

i got this from april's photo gallery. this was during her debut last april. bihira nyo lang makikita si yumi na naka strapless. hahaha..


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DOWN... DOWn... DOwn... Down... down...

>> Monday, October 25, 2004

this is the fun-nest semester i have gone through. i've got the lowest grades in town. i'm going crazy if i don't let it out. bear with me and my grades, because that's the way it is.

let's start with the bad news.

philo 101. i got a D. looking at the brighter side of life, i didn't get an F. but i was expecting at least a C. i couldn't explain how i got this kind of grade, but i somehow understand my D. ow well, he's still my teacher next semester. and i promise myself (for the nth and final time) that i will really understand my philosophy.

history 165. a C. i flunked two tests, i don't know what i got for the second exam and my finals. my papers are on the B level and our report got a C+. how did i get a c? check my tests again. my expectation is a C+. ow well, that's life.

theo 131. C+. i hate my teacher. (can't drop names. i might get sued for giving names. hehe). my pre-final grade was a B and because of that freaking finals, my grade dropped to a C+. i saw sir in dela costa and asked him how i got a c+. and his answer was, "at least it's better than a C" sheesh. nice answer.

and now for the good news. the good grades.

fa 112.4 non fiction workshop. a B. a B?!? no way. how did she grade out paper? she didn't even give grades for our drafts, and now she's giving me a B for that? edlyn and i were expecting at least a B+ for all the work we've done... and now a B+? i'm sending her an email tonight.

fa 113.3 poetry workshop. a B+. now that's what i call proud. i'm not a poet, but i can say i worked hard for my poems. i did extra work and submitted poems just to keep my grades up. well, i had to be really good like geopet or anna or the really "madaya" heights coordinator (who still took a poetry class) larry to get an A. no prob with my grade.

with that report card, my qpi's going down, down, down... i just hope that next semester, i'll be able to be a dean's lister (with all those majors i'm having) and raise my yearly qpi. sheesh.

after getting my grades, the gang (edlyn, jace, jihan, jay, and me) went to kfc to push all the bad grades down our throat with chicken. we forgot our misfortunes for a short moment while talking about tv shows. lunch passed by, and we separated ways. jihan, jace, and jay went to sm while i gate-crashed edlyn's house. hahaha.. i was the FIRST one to get a bite of edlyn's famous brownies. i even took home 2 slices for mom (she wanted to taste the brownies that i always bragged whenever i went to edlyn's house). we played tong-its while watching a spanish soap opera on tv, while checking friendster accounts, and while contemplating on our grades (quietly).

life.

is.

so.

good.

thank God for brownies.

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have you doubted God?

>> Saturday, October 23, 2004

i got this from my bulletin board in friendster.. i just want to share this with you. read on...

====

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good
conversation.

They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer. "Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there
be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving a God who would allow all of these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkept.

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed
beards, like that man outside.

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! " answered the barber. " What happens, is,people do not come to me. "

"Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

====

aha! good point...

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